Today’s article on sympaty.net addressed to those of our readers who are already quite Mature, married, perhaps repeatedly, and in addition the wife found new relatives in the face of his adult children from a previous marriage. If in this situation the adult children of the husband warmly and sincerely accepted you into the family – we congratulate you! But for those who need more to build your relationship with adult children and spouse, “ToKnow365.top” will give a few tips.
Adult children of the husband: how to create the relationship
Our website has already written about how to prepare children – the very young and older – to the appearance of a new Pope stepfather. This is a really common situation and it says a lot.
Try to look at it from the other side – the children become adults and appears they have no dad and new “mother”. This, of course, figuratively, and adult children your husband will have to consider the mother and not call never.
But the problem remains the same — the adult children of the husband can just as painful, as kids, to experience your presence in their family, not to take you as wife, father and even respond negatively about you in conversations with my father.
If you are faced with this attitude or indifference on their part, specially for you we have formulated the following principles of conduct.
Stick to them, and with time against you, inevitably, will change for the better.
Patience and again patience
This is the most important thing that is required from you – be patient. Do not expect quick results. Adult children your husband has not had the opportunity to get to know you as well as their father, they do not know about the positive traits of your character, about your outstanding abilities in some area, and so on. And just they’re not used to you.
Plus add to this a certain jealousy – they’re probably jealous of the father to you. In General, it takes time – so give it to them.
Strive to communicate
If you really want to improve relations with adult children and your husband, use every opportunity to communicate with them. And communicate in that format, which you are invited (by them or your spouse), whether the exchange of visits, communication by phone, family celebrations, etc.
Communicating, behave as you normally behave with people that want to produce the most favorable impression. Be friendly, friendly and friendly.
We are talking about the borders that people subconsciously set when communicating. After all, with someone we “short leg”, Frank, share secrets with and who you do not want to talk about anything but the weather.
You will feel the limits established by adult children of the husband to communicate with you. At first, simply observe them.
After all, if people just said Hello and then answering only “Yes” or “no” and you continue to pester him with questions, it is at least poor taste on your part.
For the same reason do not violate their private conversation with my dad – if your husband sees fit, he’ll tell you later.
As soon as happen the primary addictive and will disappear aloofness, you can move on to the next rule in the relationship.
When we want to make the person a good impression, we are interested in what he’s doing, what he is most strong, that is interesting to him, and are looking for some common ground. Here it works too.
When adult children husband a little used to you and communication will become more relaxed, be sure to show interest in them. Start by learning more about the wife of a son or daughter – what they do, whom you work, what you are passionate about.
You can then ask the question in the right area to ask your opinion, consult.
For example, your husband’s daughter teaches a foreign language/ loves cats. Win – win situation- advice, how and what books to start with language to ask, what breed her cats, she is long-haired or smooth coat, and what kind of cat is to have a home.
No matter what you are planning to learn the language and do not want anyone to have a home.
It is important that you have shown to the man – he is interesting, his opinion is significant and in General it’s nice meeting you.
Take into consideration this method often seek the advice of, and there are or some common interests with an adult daughter or adult son your husband, or they themselves begin to discuss something with you ?
Taboos, or What not to do in any case
- To let her husband in his communication with children. Another thing, if you do not communicate with them – it is a personal choice. But if he wants to maintain family ties with children, do not put a spoke in the wheel to not hear once that “children and parents do not choose,” but another wife – completely.
- To teach the children of your husband, to try to put pressure on them with his authority, experience or the impact you have on their father. Don’t forget that there are all adults. And how many adults, kids your spouse might not like this attitude on your part. Nothing but hatred, you will not earn, whether you are a hundred times right in some matter. Even if adult children husband turn to you for advice, give the advice you need in the correct form.
- To speak disrespectfully of their mother. And it does not matter whether he lived for this woman and your husband many years legally married or they met briefly and were not even married. What matters is only one fact – it’s their mother, which means that for them the most important person in my life. You would not like it if someone unfamiliar spoke to your mom badly, right? So keep a neutral position.
We wish you good luck in this slow way the relations with adult children and husband.
But when you can do it and earn in their eyes and image understanding, wise and pleasant man, your husband one more time to see how lucky he is with you!
The author – Mama Puma, site ToKnow365.top
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Adult children of the husband: how to find an approach to them