Aggressive child: what parents?

Aggressive behavior is one of the most challenging educational problems – because any opposition can cause even more aggression or just to get the child better to hide your emotions from adults.

But parents want the baby to feel calmer and more comfortable in the world, and not embittered or “closed”! How to respond if a child is behaving aggressively – tips from women’s website

Aggressive child: causes

Thinking about why a child is aggressive, it is very easy to make a mistake and attributed children’s behavior to some factor (and it is possible that just this one factor played the smallest role, but it is something completely different). As much as you seemed “he’s American cartoons reviewed”, “is he’s got the genes of my grandfather, that same obnoxious”, “he’s classmates have that effect – ponabirali full class of small pals!”, etc – resist the temptation to close my eyes to some additional circumstances!

Usually children become aggressive when the coincidence of three conditions: hereditary tendency, influence and personal example the people (adults and peers), plus the information environment.

Let’s talk more about each of these points.

  • Bad heredity. Any, even very intelligent, the parents, the child can simply pull a bad wrapper in the “genetic lottery” — and to the hyperexcitability and propensity for aggression. This is usually noticeable at an early age.
  • It so happens that the child became aggressive, adopting behavioral modules surrounding adults. Even if you don’t, so it was significant adults (i.e. family members, teachers, etc.) – if children always see most of the people around them to solve a variety of life’s problems through physical violence, screaming, “raids”, etc., they simply adopt accepted in this society behavior. So aggressive are usually those teenagers who grew up in a marginal environment, which from childhood was surrounded by the same neighbors, friends parents and other people.
  • Children’s team is also able to exercise in child aggression. Would have liked to see the kids “little angels”, the living embodiment of goodness and love – in reality a group of children that do not do enough adults, is something very similar to the animal pack with a rather cruel “laws of survival”. Among orphans is much more aggressive kids and teenagers because of the “flock” they were influenced a lot stronger than adults with certain cultural values. If the human infant did not inspire and did not demonstrate in life the benefits of humane behaviors, this “Mowgli” with high probability it will be cruel and prone to violent method of obtaining the desired good things of life. It so happens that “home” child became aggressive in kindergarten or school because children spend a lot of time together, the adults begin to mean less, and peers more, and the behavior of peers becomes more vivid example to follow.
  • An information environment. Cartoons, movies (and not only those viewed by the child himself and those in his presence look adults), TV shows (again, not only for children), computer games etc. of Course, not all children are the aggressors, sometimes chasing monsters into the “shooter” or watching some teen action with superheroes. But if this “blood-combat” content in a life of non-adult people too much, and other entertainment and Hobbies are not available, it may affect the formation of personality.

Aggressive child: what to do?

All measures for elimination of aggressiveness of the character of the child should be systematic, and possibly all affecting little the aggressor, adults must adhere to a single course of conduct.

First, it is very important to teach the child that aggressive demands, accusations, shouting and fighting – it’s just an inefficient method of communication, and the consequences of such behavior is usually bad. It all depends on the age of the child: if the preschooler will be enough instructive stories from books and cartoons, as well as direct parental teachings, for a teenager need to find some more vivid and realistic life stories. For example, about any Gopnik, which did not cool the place of work, and took a quiet nerd, or lover of scandals and fights, which threw all the girls, etc.

But of course, no history (though the book, though real) will not have any effect without the personal example of parents, family members and other people around them.

If dad comes “under the weather” and raises his hand to his wife – whether it effectively to explain to his son how to overcome aggression in yourself?..

When the baby is still very small, it is possible to do without explanation or lecture – just get on your knees screaming and waving fists two or three years, hug and reassure him, distract to something pleasant or tasty. Children at such a small age are aggressive not because they are poorly educated and behave badly on purpose, but because of the hyperactivity and inability to cope with his emotions.

Hyperactivity is generally not a parenting issue, this is a problem which should be dealt with a psychologist or even a neurologist!

Hyperactive children is important, “vyberiete” energy – the task of parents is to come up with something peaceful, where the little “pain in the ass” can put your life enthusiasm.

I can simply offer the child (in the age, of course) to have some place in the house where you can with impunity to shout in a loud voice, to beat the punching bag to break up pieces of paper to relieve aggression without viewers and listeners. Whenever a son or daughter will behave aggressively, offer to visit them this “area of rage” — not the fact that he/she will often to go there, but a reminder of this possibility helps to calm down.

Aggressive child: guidelines for parents from the “Beautiful and Successful”

What an adult at that moment when a child yells at someone, tries to strike, to fight, something to grab and break in anger, etc.?

First, it is important to understand how pointedly he does it, and whether it is just “grandstanding”? The older your child, the easier it is to think of to impress you feigned emotion to make you want to instantly handle the situation, giving him his wish.

So sometimes the best way is to firmly make it clear that you are not going to indulge him if he uses such methods, and just go to the aggressor saw that the audience for his performance there.

Clearly explain to your son or daughter, what actions will be punished: for example, fight or attempt to punch someone, to make someone physically hurts. Even preschoolers are able to understand and remember that you will not be able with impunity to torture animals, to lay hands on adults or younger children, etc.

But if you see that the anger does not allow the child to talk sensibly, briefly, clearly and with a lot of confidence to say what needs to be done for a peaceful resolution of the situation. For example: “don’t chase the kitty! Now you go and have lunch, and then I will call kitty and we Pat if he wants!”, “Give Kate a toy and go to another room half an hour later come out and ask her forgiveness!”.

But of course, it is important to understand that there are people (and children) who have never felt such an emotion – aggression. Each of us has the right to conscious and controlled aggression, and to ban children, this emotion is impossible. You only need to help the child learn to take themselves in hand and to refrain from aggressive behavior where it is inappropriate.

Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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