Child teased in school: what to do?

No matter what was the reason for your child began to tease at school or in the kindergarten: dissonant name, appearance or his character – offensive nicknames, ridicule can greatly injure his psyche and break state of mind.

Therefore, we, adults, just need help at this age to rebuff offenders. If you don’t know what to do if a child is teased in school, check out our article on the women’s website ““. Together we can build a strategy of fighting with offenders, to solve this problem.

Child teased in school: what not to do?

Parents, it is important to help deal with the abuser, especially if your baby is shy by nature and cannot stand up for itself. Otherwise, the team the child will begin to perceive as a place where it can call, mock. In the future it will affect his self esteem, his relationships with other children, his mood, and one not fine day he refuses to go to school or kindergarten.

After learning that the child being bullied, just want to make radical methods, but some things should not do. What?

To go to showdown

The first thing to do after learning that the child teased in school to go to showdown, is to make a “this Petrov” that he will not find it! But do not yet need. Even if your child is shy by nature, go to the parents for disassembly in the least. Why?

  • First, it does not force offenders to see your child in a different way to treat it. On the contrary, the children will understand what bullying they had hurt him, if he complained about adults who have hurt him, but it is needed.
  • Secondly, to your son or daughter will stick the nickname “the sneak”, the children will not accept him in their company, because it will be all about the mom-dad to talk.

“Action must be taken immediately!”

Demonstrated that how to refer children to your child in elementary school or kindergarten, 90% depends on your relationship with your son or daughter’s teacher or caregiver. Tell that child teased and bullied in kindergarten or school, teacher, course, need. But to demand that the bullying stop immediately not advised. The teacher must find effective methods on how to stop bullying.

But your child was not included in the group of outcasts, he began to ignore in a team, teachers need to choose the right tactics.

Competent teacher, learning about the situation in the team, will find a way to gently resolve the situation.

It can charge children a total order (to do together to fill in the “nature’s Calendar”, etc.), give them an interesting task – in short, to find a way “to make friends with them.” During the job, the teacher will praise him whom they offend, raise his self-esteem, as well as will definitely find a reason to talk about the teasing to stop them.

In kindergarten and the early grades, this method is effective, but, again, much depends on the teacher. Your task is to notify the caregiver or teacher about the situation, ask to have an impact, otherwise you will act differently because your child teased in school, and you won’t tolerate it.

To change schools (kindergarten)

Here even say nothing. Where is the guarantee that the new team wouldn’t be the same “Peter-John”, which will tease the child, “thick, thin, oblique”, laugh at him? Therefore, this method is effective only if the class or group situation escalated to the limit, and the teacher cannot resolve the situation.

By the way, if your little one calling for appearance, try to talk to him about it. Give examples from life, who from your family was well-fed in childhood, wore glasses or had red, and what they have achieved in life. Tell the children about famous people who in school were losers, but life has achieved a lot: Zac Efron, Naya Rivera, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, Eminem, Angelina Jolie, etc.

Go to disassembly the parents of the offender

As practice shows, the reaction of the parents of the offender are not always adequate. Most often you will say (to say it mildly, read “shout”) that their child is also name-calling and teasing in school, but “they do not go to showdown”, “it’s about the children – let him understand!” “you still don’t know what your doing and the words you use!”.

Don’t want to get a bucket of negativity on your head and on the head of your child – teach him to stand up for themselves. Below we will explain what to do if a child is teasing.

How to talk to a child?

Parents are very important to help the child, if his teasing. Here is a sample dialogue that you can spend with your son or daughter.

— Daughter, you told me that Katya is teasing you and the other girls support her. It’s frustrating, I know. I myself in my childhood was in that situation, I wanted to cry of resentment. You were crying too? The girls saw that upset you? They stopped after that tease you?

— No, they continue to do so.

— Let’s see, what to do? I can go talk to them, but I don’t want to do that. Because my mom went to the showdown in the school, but then I got worse. She left and I again was left alone. Let’s try to do otherwise. When you will call, try not to pay attention. Or laugh in response with them. Of course, it’s not easy. But remember, they want you to be upset. Don’t give them that chance. They spend effort and time to break it to you, and you respond by laughing. Know how that’s gonna piss them off? Try? They realize that their words simply amuse you, not to hurt, and will stop you with time to call.

Well, if your son or daughter make contact with you, trust you. You will be able to help the child that teasing, in contrast to those families where the children don’t trust adults, trying themselves to deal with the situation when they call.

Teasing at school: choosing the right tactics

The intervention of adults to deprive children of self-confidence and if at a young age can help your child, for older children, your interference will only worsen his position in the team. But to leave the situation on the side anymore. Children get depressed when they become objects of abuse, often do not know how to react. So be sure to discuss what to do baby, if his teasing, and how to deal with their offenders.

Ignore the offender

Tell your son or daughter that the main task of the offender, who call names – to hurt, to hurt, to draw attention. You need to learn not to show that ridicule from peers hurt you. So try to hide the fact that he hurt you, don’t show your condition. Bullies don’t know what to do, if you see that ignore them. How can I do that?

  • The preschooler may be advisable to imagine yourself to be some great being, and the offender – a small and miserable.
  • Will teach you not to ignore the offenders, not to ignore them: “I have little interest in what you say about me”. Then you need to turn around and leave, not even looking in their direction.

Talk to the offender

Agree to learn to ignore a bully is not easy. Even adults can’t always control my emotions, and the child who is teased and bullied, to make it much more difficult. So try to lose the answers that can be given to the phrase score.

  • Question

According to Anne Bishop, teacher of the program for the prevention of violence, author of books on the psychology of communication, to stop the offender may interrogative sentence. If your child called them, may he in the answer asks: “Why do you call me that?”, “Why did you say that I’m stupid?”, etc. As a rule, the bully with a sneer will answer a couple of questions and then his ardor cooled and he will move aside and will not begin to tease the child.

  • The answer

If a child is teasing and name-calling, teach him to fend off phrases:

“Fool” — “Nice to meet you, Oleg”

“How I pity you, you how long does it take to have my nickname to come up with”

“And you can come up with something new. Already tired of hearing the same thing”

  • I want

The offensive phrase should loudly and firmly say, “I want you to stop calling me!”

  • Not to tease in response

Another psychologist, Fred Frankel advises in response to never tease a abuser. Practice phrases that can give the answer: “Thank you for enlightening”, “what do you mean? I didn’t know that!”, “Well, what next?”.

Teach your son or daughter to speak it confidently, but don’t go to Creek.

Tips “experienced”

The advice of psychologists, of course, a good and justified, but there is still the popular opinion, than to help, if the child is teased and bullied. Often it differs from “tactics” of psychologists. You know, as did those who were called names and abused as a child? Give physical resistance to the offenders. Many say that until he beats the shit out of the enemy as it should, but nothing helped.

  • Neither the parents nor the teachers will not help the teenager to cope with offenders. It tells people of which 3 years was bullied and teased at school. It stopped after I beat very much of his opponent. I avoided all after that, and some even began to make friends. I advise you to hit hard and all. Peel as long as the offender does not break out and run away. Teach your daughter to do the same. Nepedagogichno? But now! Ales.
  • Not every child will be able to give a retreat to the enemy. Teach him to fight! Give in the section on arts – learn to stand up for yourself. Learn to take the first step. My son went to the wrestling section, but the school could not protect themselves. While dad not at home beat a situation, the son could not give even change. Lena.

In fairness, we note that this strategy often leads to positive results. Even the part in the fight, greatly increases the credibility of the student and helps to build self-esteem. But tell the child what to get involved in fights should not be.

Children suffer greatly if their tease: they turn in on themselves, becoming uncommunicative, aggressive. Therefore, to ignore the situation, if the child is teased, it is impossible. To help the child in this case is a must.

The author – Julia Spiridonova, site

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