Greedy is bad! Cormorants tease and dislike in the children’s team, and, of course, with the manifestations of greed in a child are a constant struggle parents and teachers. What to do if this unpleasant trait of character observed in your child? But, most importantly, how to understand — whether the child is greedy, or his behavior is due to quite other motives? This is today and will be discussed on the women’s website sympaty.net.
Greed as a protest against the invasion of personal space
You came to visit a friend with a child the same age as your son. To be able to chat over a Cup of coffee, you send children to nursery with parting words: “Semyon, see Vasya’s so many different toys – play anything!”, “John, don’t be greedy, Senya your guest – show him all the toys!”.
After half an hour of the child is heard a loud roar guest – it turns out that the owner refused to show him a collection of racing machines. Greedy child shamed, cars solemnly awarded to the offended guest: “Play as you want!”.
All right – this is the lesson of hospitality and courtesy!
But tell me honestly, how would you reactif your husband brought a friend with his wife and said, “And this is my wife, Tanya, – sit and chat! Can see pictures in her notebook, trying on her dresses, and she has a wonderful collection of perfumes…”?! What, you think this is arrogance?! And why?!
Why? My home is my personal spaceand my stuff is my stuff, and I have to decide who and what to allow to see, touch and measure!
All is well. Many parents just don’t understand that it’s the experiences and the child.
Despite the fact that his toys, clothes and other personal items purchased with parents ‘ money, he should know that it all belongs to him, and his room is his sanctuary, a personal space! The invasion must be regulated by the child.
In a situation with a visit to your friend and her son talk to the child in advance – ask what he wanted to do with the guest, what kind of toys would show and which not (you can even hide them if you don’t want tantrums from the child guest), help to develop a “program” — for example, offer the children a Board game or a DVD…
Also do not rush to write off the greed of the child, his refusal to stand in the yard for all to games, favorite doll, ball, machine, etc. – he has every right to be!
Do not force the child to share things – better make that desire arose in him! For example, tell me how many ball games you can think of, if you play a large company.
Or asked to play the “Formula 1” racing cars from the collection, together with other invited guests – in alone is absolutely not fun!
“I’m not greedy – that’s my daughter!”
So said one 4-year-old girl when she began to scold you because she wouldn’t let her friend play with her doll! Mother considered this a far-fetched excuse – not a child in all seriousness to consider the plastic toy “daughter”, to give that friend is to betray?
There must be a border of the game, because the girl sees that the doll is just the thing?!
However, psychologists believe that the truth in this case – on the side of “greedy” baby!
Up to a certain age (4-6 years) most children tend to”animate” the most favorite toys – otherwise, where’d the “dialogues” with the toys (when the child alternately met it for himself, then for the doll) and other action games? If this was not a naive faith in a miracle, then all the games would be meaningless – the kid is not akterstvu, he lives it, while learning very important things – love, loyalty, motherhood!
Tell him “don’t be a greedy man-beef, it’s just a piece of plastic” — means to inflict greater psychological trauma!
Greed when the child crosses the border?
And what is this the “norm” — even in children, though in adults?
One mother considers her child greedy, if he will not share with each other one of the two apples, the other will understand only if the Apple one, and the third says to break in half even one slice, and the fourth will give five apples and say, “Well, I’ll give you that you eat, and you three out of five distributed – where is good?”.
However, with all the conventions of “normal”, children’s pathological greed still exists. This is when the child does not want to share anything ever.
Even the fact that he is clearly in surplus, even if he sees how much this someone in need! In turn, such a greedy man-beef usually without hesitation grabs and tries to assign allthat is bad — he “usurps” the best toys in kindergarten, begging and reluctant to back other people’s toys in the sandbox, etc.
What to do with the pathological greed of the baby? Of course, to educate – explain the benefits of generosity before stinginess, to explain how ugly it looks greedy, how he is treated by others, etc.
But the most important – a personal example! Keep the eyes of a child the situations when parents don’t want someone to give or lend, and, conversely, emphasize the moments where the adults are showing generosity, hospitality, selflessness,for example, get out of the fridge the whole box of cakes, and not exactly on account of the expected guests!
In some cases, will not prevent the visit to a child psychologist – sometimes the greed of the child is a manifestation of any deeper complexes.
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Greedy baby: how to re-educate and to learn to share