You wrote quarterly report. Included in the chief’s office and read his face discontent – now begin to criticize! I want to put the report on the table and run away aimlessly, if only nothing to listen to! Maybe today you first wore a new dress? Stand in front of a friend, with downcast eyes Dale: “Well, not quite … scary?..”. Seeing your confused state, a friend cheerfully gives that this style has two seasons do not wear, but looks good on you! This leads to a three-day depression… Recognize yourself?! Beautiful and Successful, everything is clear – you are afraid of criticism! But it is fixable!
Dangerous than criticism?
Well, say readers sympaty.net promised to teach us not to be afraid of criticism, and then tell us about the danger?!
Yes! So something has ceased to scare you, it should just take a good look!
In all the tales the hero, to protect the monster, previously asked the wizards what exactly is it dangerous and is there any trick that allows you not to spend forces and nerves for waving a sword? And then, armed with knowledge, already went and done it right.
And came back a winner! For example, as a soldier of the Anderson “Flint”, put a huge dog on the apron of the witch.
What you need to know about the monster called “criticism”?
- Critic able to deny the motivation for further action. For example, you did a sketch for the painting, and man, unable to imagine the future of the painting as a whole, called sketch daubs. If you’re afraid of criticism, then stop working on his plan!
- Criticism stifles personal vision of the subject. In the case of the sketch – you can recycle it in favor of the opinion of critics, because his own idea begins to seem dull, uninteresting and incorrect.
- Criticism lowers self-esteem. Criticizing, expressing his negative opinion, doesn’t risk anything – he has not done any work on the subject of criticism, therefore, itself in any case wins! And criticized what words in his defense said, and remains, that is, “spat upon as” his excuses are regarded as subjective – he protects his “child”!
In General, it would be possible to give the first Council afraid of criticism – to carry ear plugs and use them to their destination as soon as they hear critical speech in his address. If not one “but”!
Criticism can be useful!
Whatever you were afraid of criticism, to stop one’s ears not worth it! Even the most non-constructive and offensive worded criticism can be useful. What?
- A reflection of the views of a certain group of people. For example, your brother criticized your stylish dress. Stylish it not be stopped, but you’re not gonna wear it on a date with a guy, because it does not correspond to men’s preferences!
- The view from the outside. Sometimes he can be objective.
- The motivation to improve. If not afraid of criticism, you can think of it as motivation to action: “You don’t believe in me, and I’ll prove that I will succeed!”. By the way, a little more about the motivation ?
How to extract a grain of truth of the critical statements?
Criticism often disarms – you with his mouth open listening to the prosecution, and when the kicker goes, belatedly understand how people had to defend themselves which words to say…
To not be afraid of criticism, and to react calmly and to put forward their arguments, listen to words criticizing and mentally divide speech into several semantic partswhich are typically included in statements of this kind.
For example: “What is this handwriting, it’s a nightmare! Yes, the chicken left paw writes better than you – are you a d student in school was? Oh, you not ashamed? Here I on your place would write more slowly, but legibly, but all would understand!”.
Some of this need to remember and take note, and something immediately out of my head, not to make unnecessary complex!
So, what is criticism?
- The subject of criticism. “What’s this handwriting, it’s a nightmare!..”. Not you, not your grades, not your attitude to the interlocutor, and illegible handwriting!
- Recommendations for corrective action. Write slow, but legible. It is worth to remember! Although to implement it in practice or not is up to you!
- Lowering your self-worth. A comparison with the proverbial chicken, the phrase “Oh, you not ashamed?”. On the idea of the kicker, you have to realize their insignificance and shame. But this is not worth it – you get to decide something to be ashamed of, and that is to serve others as a given: you’re not ashamed of, for example, the color of their eyes? And if I told you that brown eyes is shame-shame? Stupid, right? Same is the case with handwriting, and choose you clothes, and what you do to others it is a reality, and to change something you have only on their own!
- Opposition to the “great and wise” to you. “I’d…”. In your place, the interviewee could write the perfect handwriting is utter nonsense. Or not to write anything. Maybe he’s too illegible handwriting, but you don’t know about it? In short, you can only be you, and all other people are judged from their. Otherwise, their criticism is not pulled at all!
- The expansion of the area of the problem. “Are you in school was a d student?”. In order to exaggerate your imperfections, kicker ascribes to the subject of criticism and other unflattering (even unconfirmed and made-up) facts about you, your mental abilities etc. In a more aggressive form it could sound like “are You stupid?”. That is, allegedly, the problem is not that you’re ugly write, and that “God is offended”, incompetent and incapable… That really there’s some handwriting?..
As you know, valuable information here can only be called the subject of criticism and recommendations for correction. Everything else is better to skip past the ears.
What to say, having heard in his address unconstructive criticism?
What to say in response to criticism? I’m afraid excuses – the path is incorrect, they only provoke critical!
- “Yeah, thanks for the advice, You are right“. Consent (at least verbally) will convince critics that the goal is reached, you took his opinion and we can leave you alone.
- To remain silent. If the criticism is aggressive, sharp. Most likely, a shouting man shut up, if he sees that his words have the desired effect.
- To turn the conversation to another topic.
Believe me, this “toothless” style of behavior is the correct! After all, the greatest pleasure is critical you deliver if you show how afraid of criticism – it’s clearly flattered his vanity. But you don’t do it!
In General, any criticism is “one-sided”. But to be afraid of criticism – it means doing nothing: then you will not criticize anybody!
Except… for the lack of initiative and laziness!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
How not to be afraid of criticism: effective psychological techniques