“The guy’s brains out rinse — not for the first time. I send and go in, but he is so lubricate that I always come back. ToKnow365.top what to do to not go back and forget it??? How to make tough — and when he calls back — not to go to him??? How to get away from the guy? Sincerely, Katya”.
It is very difficult to give advice in this situation. Because we do not know the whole background of your relationship. How much are you together and what connects you with this person? Who was the initiator of the “expenditure”? Why did you decide to break/breaks? And, most importantly, why didn’t you just leave him?
How to get away from the guy: put the question squarely
We’ll help you, Katya, to solve a complicated puzzle on the topic: “How to have the courage to walk away from a guy nicely without looking back and for all?”, but under one condition: if you really want it – honestly, firmly and without equivocation.
Because, apparently, to get away from this man you Oh how difficult. And the phrase “forget it”, coupled with a bunch of question marks suggests that you hold near him not his Lamborghini/Villa in Canary Islands /Swiss Bank account, and something that makes you repeatedly change the decision and to return back to him.
Therefore, before proceeding to discuss the question: “How to get away from the guy?”, let’s find out what holds you near him? What prevents you to go, to forget him and start life anew? Love? Pity? Habit? Fear of loneliness? Maybe all of these games in “bye-Hello” the result is banal boredom or attempts to punish the partner (his or yours)?
How to go from a guy: is it necessary?
Why, Kate, you are so difficult to put a fat point in a relationship with this man? And if you really want to leave him?
Maybe it’s time to honestly answer these questions? Because without a truthful answer to the meaning of this article will be reduced to zero — we spend a lot of time – yours and your gorgeous write out step-by-step campaign plan: “How to get away from the guy,” will give a number of clear recommendations and advice that will teach you to be bold and courageous, and you, listening and thanking, return to him and at the same time — in the shackles of a vicious circle.
And all because you love him!!!! and in this way (leaving and returning through time back) want to attract attention/to punish/to find proof of his feelings.
Note: According to my own experience I know that to give advice lover man – it is absolutely useless and meaningless – he will listen and make… in his own way.
Therefore I propose to analyze the possible causes of your indecision. As they say one head is good, two is fine, but female site sympaty.net – the solution to all problems J
Katya, only finding out the root cause, you will be able to move on. Only honesty and willingness to cooperate will help you not only to understand the situation and their feelings, but also to develop the further plan of action.
So, if you get away from the guy’s stopping you…
1. Habit. To mind immediately comes the proverbial suitcase without a handle. Yes, corny, but as eloquently. Think, Kate, and do you need the suitcase from last season and even openly rejected? Maybe it’s time…to send on a holiday or on a shelf in antique shop?
Tell me, why you, young and interesting, to carry the unbearable burden – inconvenient (as it may take – is still falling), with someone else’s shoulder (handle broken off-it is not just so, so – she was not at you) and absolutely no prospects (what to take with him – he’s a suitcase!!!)? Allow it to patch their “holes” and find a real lover of vintage stuff J
2. Pity. This is the most insidious feeling of all. Because within each of us nature has a maternal instinct: “What will happen to him, so unsuitable, so shiftless and careless, when I leave it?”, “How’s he doing without me – not hungry, not cold?”. But if you take into account the solid, imposed on the Japanese the belief that we are responsible for those who tamed, then the output is the question: “How to get away from the guy?” — nowhere and unanswered.
Kate, and after all, he once lived before you? And nothing – cope J So tell me, why do you need these unhealthy relationships? Pity pity, but it you will not last long, and as for me, each of us deserves love. And if you give it to him, you, alas, can not, let go. Indeed, one mommy he already has.
3. Fear of being alone. The era of catastrophic shortage of male combat units and still the same insidious statistics for the 10 girls and 9 guys, makes even the most decent of us to doubt his “bright” future and stay even for lousy, but still “Man”.
It is better to him though weak, but so familiar and predictable than one in a cold bed. The sad thing is, so many people think! And it can not grieve ? Ladies (take this opportunity to appeal to all the readers of Beautiful and Successful), believe me, not worth it – better one a couple of weeks ? than with the unloved and life.
4. The lack of alternatives. You near it, because on the horizon there is nothing “better”? You leave, having met the “excellent” and “forward-looking” man, and come back, because your “sweetie” is still better (and more expensive flowers, and quiet snores, and the eggs it tastes better).
Now imagine that he leaves and returns, guided by the same motives? Well, nice? I think that comment is superfluous – only you can decide to continue the relationship or not, fair or “will do”.
5. The natural indecision. You are afraid to offend the man with whom he lived for one month? Your education and tact do not allow you to deny a person that throws you and then ask you to come back? You, in the end, it is easier to return than to explain why not want this?
Congratulations – you are a pathological victim! To help you can only a full reassessment of life priorities and placing new accents (which you more – the satisfaction of his momentary whims or my own happiness and mental health?).
6. Feelings. You leave him because you love, you go back to it because like. Yes, the logic in your actions, no man will find, but we understand you and willing to help.
So, why with all, with (love, etc.) you get away from him:
- Out of boredom. You bored in the relationship (look at Vera and passions, and anguish, and rough sex as the consolidation of the Pact of truce) and so you decide to shake them?
Now think – what if he has serious feelings for you, and you openly kicked? What if he did it all, in the end, tired? Maybe better to learn to enjoy what you have (nice peace and quiet) than to play “Santa Barbara” and in the end to lose everything?
- Because of the desire to punish. It gives you a little time and attention, he is delayed at work, he writes a thousand and one love SMS in hour, he praises the soup his mother, it is all free money to spend on a favorite car?
So maybe better to tell him all of this directly and in person than to punish a periodic gathering of suitcases? Men don’t understand hints!
- Because of the desire to reach out and change him and your relationship for the better. He’s in the shower still a boy: at your request to have a baby he responds with a proposal to buy a hamster or at least a cactus and attempt to move the relationship to a new stage (moving, meet the parents, wedding party) – tickets to the circus?
Of course, breakup and triumphant reunion next will change your relationship, but think, instead of whether you play him at his own game and his own field???
How to get away from the guy: the decision was taken
It is clear that in one article we can’t cover all the nuances and subtleties (I already exceeded the number of allotted characters ? ), but I think in any case you need to change something in your life and in relations with my man, and this requires strength, determination and confidence that you are doing the right thing. Gain all you can, taking a little time out.
First, you need time to think, re-evaluate and make the right conclusions. It’s no wonder you get away from him, not in vain and returned.
And that means you/it:
- not satisfied with something in the relationship (you/he go),
- holding something near him/you (you/he returned).
Secondly, your man needs time to understand whether you. After all, he’s letting you go!!! And allows you to escape (albeit briefly). Can manages them all the same thoughts, fears and emotions?
How to get away from the guy: an action plan
So, you decided to leave him (understand that this is not “your coat” and that holds you near it a pity/boredom/habit – in short, anything, but not love). Congratulations, shake your hand and welcome to the club “Get away from the guy and beautiful forever!”.
But first we recommend you read our rules and recommendations on how to get away from the guy properly, quickly and painlessly for both.
How to survive the separation from loved ones? Part 1
How to survive the separation from loved ones? Part 2
Personally, I’d add: take a break, take a business, think about what to do you wanted for a long time and which had not got hand/foot/Finance, allow you to go a little crazy and be a bad girl ?
Wanted to ride a bike/jump with a parachute, learn to Stripping/cross stitching, I have long wanted to see the Sistine Madonna/take a walk on the quay Voltaire, in Paris, to change the furniture/throw a spooky floor lamp from the bedroom? Welcome ?
The main thing here is to relax, to plunge into the “pool” head (I mean hobby ? ) and distract from the pressing problems, enabling your heart and brain some fresh air and clearer.
And if after all this you will understand that to go from that guy you should have long, well, then it had to be ? be glad it happened now and not dragged on for years.
Well, if during a flight to the moon/eating the best cupcake in Moscow confectionary/Spa treatments in a beauty salon around the corner/meditation in Bali you have come up with an idea, and your coat, and buttons in tone ? — happiness to you. I hope you will take into account all the previous mistakes, will make appropriate conclusions and will not continue to play the game: “How to get away from the guy, and is it worth it?”.
Author – Yulia Maximenko, website www.sympaty.net – Beautiful and Successful
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How to get away from the guy