How to increase the self-esteem of the child and help him become more confident

I work with children, and has repeatedly offered to different children’s groups some feasible and interesting task: for example, to draw something or sculpt. Always (absolutely always!) for a dozen kids there are a few that just say: “I won’t, I can’t, I draw badly”. Costs a lot of efforts to convince such a child that you draw is not a rating, it’s worth a try, etc. But low self-esteem affects so in all areas of a child’s life – he is pre-programming yourself for failure in studies, games, building relationships with peers… Therefore this article on about how to increase the child’s self-esteem.

When and how is self-esteem in children?

I have to say – low self-esteem is unnatural for any child!

A baby is born, absolutely confident in himself and his abilities, he can not think, for example, that it is wrong and bad eating (holding the head, sitting, walking), do not try further, if not out immediately that it is not necessary to attract attention to themselves, to suppress their desires and interests, etc.

This is correct – otherwise he will not gain all these life skills, and draw attention to each your desire – and at a matter of survival, because otherwise, theoretically, there is a risk that it will not help, will not notice, will throw…

In the norm, such malachowski selfishness will gradually go myself – growing up, the child complicates their relationships with other people, he will understand that interaction with the world cannot be limited to “give-give-give!!”.

But from early childhood, the child will make the basis of their self-esteem for many years: he keenly feels all that people think about them, loved ones – how it love, appreciate, believe in its power, “good” he is or “bad”. And he has no mental strength, as an adult, to ignore and not take seriously the negative evaluation: “you can’t Do it, come on!”, “You did something – you’re a bad boy!”, “You’re worse than (cranky, loud-mouthed, etc.) of all children on the Playground!”, “All children as children, and you’re a handful!”, etc.

That is, the younger the child, the more his self-esteem is a “mirror” assessment important for little people (parents, home, teachers, etc.) – to enhance the child’s self esteem, you need to very carefully look, and how you rate it, adult?

Why the child sometimes formed a low self-esteem in the children’s team?

But the second common situation, when a loved child in the family with a normal (if not excessive!) self-esteem enters the children’s collective, and… it turns out that ‘s his love and accept for who I am, no one is going!

I remember the bearded anecdote: “Granny and me in school saying I’m a moron… is It true?! – You’re not a jerk: the jacket to trousers, trousers in socks, socks sandals, and handsome!!!”.

Children of the same age often are really able to hunt the child for whatever reason that an adult would find completely pointless, even immoral: wears glasses, doesn’t know how to play football, not watched any of the whole class adored the animated series, a little more naive and infantile your age, etc.

And it is clear that this child will grow up perfectly normal adult who in life is not useful nor football, nor, especially, the animated series, but self-esteem can be damaged in the first school term and for many years, and this is seriously affecting the formation of personality!

And then the parents commit a second serious mistake – wanting to increase the child’s self-esteem, they start with him to curse the wicked and stupid kids and even more to glorify their own flesh and blood. As the problem worsens, the child may not understand why the school doesn’t value something so praised at home, and Vice versa? What to do to be good there?

What are parents to do — how to increase children’s self esteem?

How to increase the child’s self-esteem?

The iron rule of pedagogy relevant to children of all ages, do not Express to the child that he is bad and you don’t like him due to some misdemeanor!

Phrase-taboo: those “behave – I won’t love you!”, “You’re the worst in the class!” (“And Vova already knows how/could/behave, and you again…”), “you can’t Do it, give it to me, I’ll do it!”, “You’re bad!”.

Do not attach the child labels: “You’re too slow!”, “You’re lazy!”, “You can’t remember anything!”.d. The child it will be postponed – Yes, I’m a slowpoke, lazy, and don’t remember anything…

On the contrary, to increase self — esteem of the child – all he’s trying to do, we need to encourage and to suggest how to do it, if not out. Be sure to praise for good attempts! The misdeeds and wrong actions need to be addressed so: to explain what is wrong (it’s a shame for someone dangerous, useless, inefficient, etc.) this behavior.

If you see that the child is not acting out of ignorance, but “out of spite” (and all children do that sometimes!) – do not take anything (unless, of course, that does not pose a direct threat): let the child will experience received a negative result, which warned!

Banal, but always relevant advice on how to improve the child’s self-esteem that website wants to remind you: love your child, show him your love, believe in its potential, show the importance for you of his desires and needs! The more parents believe in him, the more the child believes in myself!

Now back to the above situation, when the child’s self-esteem reduces children’s team.

How to increase the child’s self-esteem? Try to understand why he becomes the “black sheep”. … And help to achieve the absence of what makes him an object of ridicule. Instead say: “Nonsense their football, but you’re the violin learn to play!” — let dad take the show on a future violinist a couple of “tricks” with the ball! Trust me, the music doesn’t go anywhere, and to increase the child’s self-esteem and rid it of problems in the team worth it!

Have not watched the cartoon, though, and stupid – well, let’s see a couple of episodes, at least not to be trapped, when he will show stickers with the characters!

And also, to increase self-esteem, to the child it is possible to provide another field for the realization ofwhere he is really able to succeed. For example, if the same school for him joy and pleasant environment to communicate with like-minded people, not “sectioned” — he spit on the yard running around with the ball and self-it is not going to ruin everything!

Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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