How to make friends adult?

Remember how it was all just growing up? Shared candy, errands together by bike and friends! But how to make friends adult? For some it becomes a real problem.

About how to solve it, and will be talking today on the website ““.

Why make friends adult

Surprisingly, some seriously believe that friendship is the lot of the young. With age, the need for friends as if becomes not as sharp.

But if it were true, is complained to so many people lonely? Is enjoy such popularity of social networks and forums on which there may be virtual, but the communication?

Man is a social being. We are so constituted that sometimes we want to share with someone your thoughts, to talk about their feelings and make a boast of their successes, and sometimes, to be honest, and to complain. And we need to put people close to us in spirit, sharing our views of the world and is able to understand, appreciate, sympathize with and support.

In other words, you need a friend. Only here where to find friends adult?

Childhood friends

Many believe that to find real friends only in childhood or early youth, because at this age it is easier to get along with people, the less are the requirements for it, and the way of life contributes to companionship: a minimum of responsibilities, a lot of interesting things, which is so important right company. Adult find friends so easily is not possible.

Perhaps you are lucky and you continue to maintain with old friends close and cordial relations. Friends of childhood and adolescence – people who remember what you were, and is able to assess fully your progress and achievements. They know what you stand and what you can do.

But, unfortunately, not everyone is able to carry the child or youth friendship “through the years, through distances”. Very often it happens that growing up, people choose different life paths, change their views and reconsider values.

And over time it turns out that the old location is no longer, common topics of conversations are hard to find, and “true friendship” were only memories. So to resume an old friendship is not always obtained.

Making friends adults: recommendations for convergence

Do not think that to befriend two adults, established and self-sufficient, so hard. It is quite possible.

But first you must understand that friendship implies mutual actions of these two people in order to get close, to feel trust and to build a truly good and lasting relationship where both are comfortable.

It is clear that it is a process that will take more than one day or even one month, and endeavor needs both sides.

If you are willing to “invest” in a new friendly relationship of your time and mental strength, “” ready to give a few tips that will help you to find friends in adulthood.

Carefully look into the people with whom you frequently communicate: to colleagues, to neighbors. Surely there is at least one or two people from your environment that you are most attractive. It’s prudent adult find friends among them.

If for various reasons such people in your immediate circle of friends there is no cost to expand: sign up for General interest courses, buy a subscription to a fitness club or pool for a year and try to find potential “candidates to friends” there.

Gradually and gently begin a rapprochement with the person who you like the most. For starters, you can just say Hello and smile when meeting. A little later, try to make some compliments on the success or appearance.

Try to keep your words sounded sincere and didn’t look as flattering. People are usually nice to hear something good.

Few weeks you can try to contact the person with the issue. You can start a conversation about something not too great: about the weather, Hobbies, etc.

Do not hurry: to make friends, adults sometimes need a lot of time. Carefully watch the reaction of the interlocutor. If you notice that he smiles at you in response, willing to meet and he asks questions – you can assume that the first contact is made.

Try to expand the range of topics for communication. Offer to discuss topics that can excite both of you: joint activity, environment, current events, and news. Invite a new friend to sit together in the cafeteria, to visit the exhibition or the exhibition in the Museum. Thus gradually to start up a friendly relationship that can become the basis of friendship.

Usually, before how to make friends, adults need to get accustomed to a new friend.

Impression of you is made up of little things: your “PhD friend” will surely note, if you are punctual, neat, pay attention to your manner of communication, so during a conversation try to observe the following recommendations:

  • Do not interrupt the interlocutor. Master the techniques of active listening and apply them in the course of conversation.
  • Don’t get carried away with criticism and irony – this way of communication not everyone is pleasant.
  • Chat with new friends on an equal footing: do not Crouch, do not drop your self-esteem, but do not humiliate the interlocutor: remember the companionship you are equal and have equal rights.

Making friends adults easier if they have something to inspire others. Try to interest new friend: be aware of the fact that may be relevant to it. Read, develop new skills, improve and develop. Show reasonable activity and the initiative in the relationship.

When a friendly relationship can be considered established, try to avoid extremes in communication:

  • Do not seek for a new friend to do everything in your power, and even a little more. Do not forget about themselves and their own interests: those who do not value themselves, usually don’t appreciate others.
  • Do not ask the other to sacrifice for your sake of their interests, time, do not be offended if for some reason he can’t give you the time, doing their own thing. Friends are not required to constantly be in each other’s lives from this “friendship” get tired very quickly, it becomes a burden.

If the friend has appeared suddenly…

Be prepared for the fact that, despite all your efforts to make friends in adulthood you will not immediately. Perhaps a new friend will not want to go to the rendezvous, and perhaps well established the a friendly relationship will never develop into a friendship. Take it as a given and try to understand why it happened.

The main reasons can be two:

  • People too keen to get close, because it fears too trusting relationships. As a rule, it shows that you are sympathetic to him, but inclined to “keep distance”. Maybe he just needs more time? Be patient, if this person you really like. Before you make friends, adult or sometimes it takes quite a long time to get used to a new friend and start to trust him.
  • It’s “your” people. Alas, despite your efforts, you have failed to please him so that he wanted to make friends with you. Alas, it happens. It is not necessary to spend forces and time for development of these relations.

In any case, we should not concentrate all its efforts on one person. Friends adults can, alas, not always. Try to expand the circle of contacts with whom you interesting to talk to – maybe someone of them you will have warm and friendly relations, but, even if this does not happen, nice people in your surroundings will be more.

The author — Elena Matusak (Lanberri), site –

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