How to make you listen to and take said?

Often one person will say a few words, and all around run gallop to fulfill his demand, and another half-hour explains, argues, resembles – but in the end request is not fulfilled, and the surrounding puzzled: “I this conversation, don’t remember…” or “did You really said all this?!”… I want to make you listened, remembered and understood what you said? Read this article on the website ““!

Why some information goes in one ear and out the other?

How to make you listen? You need to first find out at what stage is the “leak” — your speech is not understood by the interlocutor at the moment of speaking or the words are clear, but what you said is not remembered for a long time, or understand everything, and he remembers everything, but does not take seriously and consciously not fulfilling your requests, suggestions or wishes?

What causes you not listening?

Incomprehensible speech

With no speech problems, and inability to clearly Express what you want to convey to the recipient.

For example, instead of: “When you go to the store, buy me the wet wipes”: “Look, it’s just that-you do it, the store is not going? Well, no, it’s okay… And I disdain to take hold of the handrails in buses, but wet wipes… good thing… Well, nothing, that they are not yet…”.

The interlocutor may not be aware that your abstract reasoning really are a specific request!

Ignorance of the psychological characteristics of perception of speech and dialogue

Remember shtirlitsa that out of the entire conversation left in memory of the interlocutor only one thing – the request for a headache pill?

Stirlitz is absolutely right – if you want to make yourself listened to, important to you assertions, requests, and facts to better present not before, but after minor chatter. Then they will remember!

And if you do it at first, 5-10 minutes of dialogue, the interlocutor’s attention switches to another, and he would forget about what you said!

Inability to motivate and argue

Want the other person to want to do as you say, you need to explain to him weighty arguments, otherwise your words will remain empty morality.

You can talk about how to properly starch a duvet cover – if the listener does not understand why the starch in the duvet, he can’t remember anything! But you can say: “let me tell you how to starch linen – your husband will love it, you’ll see!”.

How to make you listen?

The important role communication plays not only the meaning of the words, but facial expressions, voice, gestures, intonation coloration of speech

How to influence the interlocutor so that he remembered and took note of the most of what you say? can give such a recommendation:

  • Communicates the subject matter clearly, with a minimum number of auxiliary turns of speech and non-essential information. For example: “If I don’t get home by 7, feed the dog.” The person whom you present the request, probably will forget or something messed up, if you say: “Well, I may be coming over to Masha, and then it arrives two hundred years no see, a house Ball, and his food in the fridge, and if you don’t go to football, Hey, don’t forget!!!”.
  • Look in the eyes, saying the most important thing. Can you tell me about Masha and the Marina, and about football, but the words “feed the dog” say, looking directly in eyes!
  • If you want to do to you listened, speak confidently, and at a natural pace, watch your diction.
  • Want the source well remember what was said? Set out only the key question, if possible, simply and clearly – don’t be long talks on other topics.
  • Do not carry a dialogue, active gestures – then you will have more to watch than to listen.
  • Watch facial expressions – often blinking, jerking the head, scratching the nose or ears, biting lips and other unsympathetic movement also distract attention from the conversation, and also produces a negative impression.
  • Speaking, cover your mouth by hand – to the best perception people are better able to see lip movements when pronouncing the words.
  • Do not raise your voice! The louder the person speaks, the shorter the period of time when his words are taken. What is said in a whisper sincere friend, usually is remembered as a whole. And well do we remember the speech of the head of algabraic, reports of politicians from the podium or the angry cries of a neighbor in the stairwell?

What phrases and words shouldn’t be used to listen to you?

Below you listened to, you need to do something else. The subconscious forgets important information, if it is mixed with irrelevant, unnecessary.

So you should remember some words and phrases, the utterance of which contributes to difficulties of perception of words and their rapid forgetting.

  • Avoid words-parasites “well”, “it”, “here” etc. They bring litter it – and in the mountains of garbage, hard to see even a diamond!
  • Give up “no”. “Don’t forget…”, “don’t…”, “don’t go…”. Humans have a very strong sense of contradiction. If a person is to prohibit something, he may want to do the exact opposite. If not consciously, then subconsciously, the word “not” is forgottenand all that was said then, well I remember! I want to make sure that you were listening – to replace the verbs with “not” in the opposite sense: instead of “don’t forget” — “remember” instead of “don’t do” — “do it differently”, etc.
  • Try to shorten sentences and to make meaning of the pause. Compound a comprehensive proposal is perceived worse than 2-3 short. In the speeches they have to share a pause – “one breath” to Express all at once is undesirable!

If you sometimes ponder how to make you listen, there will be other results, your speech will be clearer and more concise, instead of empty chatter you often will Express deliberate thoughts, clothed in memorable phrases!

Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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