“Listen to adults”, “be obedient”… Not trying to count how often this phrase hear your child? When giving gifts, “grow smart, listen to your mother”; with every failed attempt to do something: “Listen to me – I warned you!!!”… In General, obedience to adults is probably the most frequently required from the child behavior!
And what happens in adult life? It turns out that to listen to no one else – because none of the others and is not going to act as a “mentor and guide”! The need is just the opposite – the ability to think for yourself! So as to teach the child to think independently, without losing parental control over him? The website sympaty.net knows!
The correct pedagogical strategy “Look mom, she’s not bad advice”?
Just say – to achieve blind obedience from the child than to teach him to think and make correct conclusions!
It is possible the old world as a method of “carrot and stick” from an early age to teach the child what to execute the instructions of adults (and to always act as was told previously in similar situations) is his inevitable duty. The result of such training – “sissy” (in all aspects of this concept)!
And then requiring obedience to mothers is usually the question arises – why is this so bad?
After all, I do teach a child to the rules of conduct that will help him to avoid mistakes, not to get into a difficult situation, etc.? And it’s true – moms do not want bad for their children and of the good faith teach them to do everything right and good!
What is the mistake – because an obedient child is more likely to adopt adult wisdom, which he thought would probably much later? But the problem is that the child is acting correctly, it may really not understand why he does it! Relatively speaking – not “I’m not going to play with matches, because a fire,” and “I’m not going to take matches, because the nurse learns – will kill!”.
From time to time the system is triggered – the child does nothing wrong and wrong. And then once he inevitably comes up with the idea that everything is forbidden can be done secretly or even explicitly and pointedly – in the form of protest against the unwarranted ban, etc!
Besides, no mother can guarantee that she “programmed” the child to all possible life situations! One day there will be something that will have to respond – and ready the answer is no, mom about anything like that not saying, you have to think for yourself!..
A child not taught to think for themselves – and he makes a stupid mistake…
Conclusion: mistakes of others is not learning.
Each child got to make their mistakes and to develop your own Arsenal of life experience! So turn on active thinking, develop logic and creativity.
Want something (the ability to listen to their desires), to think about how to achieve it (creativity, logic), try to do so (proactive stance) might be wrong (experience – understanding of how anything works), to think and to try again, to succeed or for a long time to remember what so to do generally is not necessary, the consequences are bad!
Much easier “obedient” child: to want to slap and shout that this is impossible, to perehoditi to try something at all, after some time to forget the parent notation and doing something stupid…
What age to cultivate independence of thinking?
The need to teach the child to think realize, in principle, the majority of parents. But how often committed a completely illogical mistake – parents to a certain age keeping a child “on a short leash,” and then suddenly, one day, decide that he’s already big enough and need to demand from him of independent thinking!
But it is unrealistic to want from a child diametrically opposite things: to carry out orders against their own desires and to think for themselves, why, how and what to do!
Teach the child to think need a very small age (of course, commensurate age possible).
How to teach a child to think, not to follow instructions?
I think anyone who has ever encountered a little kid, already thought – is it possible to waive the requirement of obedience? Children always somewhere to climb, and pranks are clearly not fit into the “correct” (from the perspective of an adult) behavior! And if you give the child the opportunity to do anything, he certainly will quickly do something stupid (well even if safe!).
It’s all so of course, the child cannot understand all that he knows about the life of an adult and to report it!
Of course, the first in a child’s life prohibitions based on limiting him from those dangers, to which he alone is not smart enough! You must not want from three years to understand, for example, where a gas stove takes fire and why not to turn the knobs on the stove – but to stop him from playing with this household Assembly required!
But still, some rules of education need to adhere to, wanting to teach a child to think for yourself?
- If possible, explain to the child why something forbidden (or Vice versa, are forced to do), what are the negative consequences of wrong actions. In the example of the stove – first stop of the baby, then at least show him how is burning a piece of paper!
- Give the child the right to be wrong! In many cases, their own negative experience teaches better than the most sensible explanation! So if immediate danger is not, let the child try to do something wrong and see the negative consequences of (broken toys, hurt friend, not to learn the lessons and get a deuce, etc.).
- If you think that the explanation of any prohibition to give up early, the child will not understand them because of their age, at least not motivate the ban punishment (“see – give the belt!”). Just stop the child every time he will try to do the forbidden – at some time he will remember that he was told “don’t do it”, and will not do. And then gradually begin to wonder – why not do that? So the child learns to think – and what we should work!
- Do not frighten the child and do not give fantastic explanations (such as “a lot of you will know, the sooner we’ll grow old!” or “don’t go in there – there’s a do’er!”). First, it is as uninformative as a ban without explanation, and secondly, does not allow the child to think in terms of truthful facts. And sooner or later an innocent parent fantasy will be exposed and the child will happily violate what it earlier held back just naivety!
- Talk with your child, give him a logical problem to think about! This can be done just in the normal course of everyday communication: pick up all sorts of topics — from “What would happen if dogs could talk” to “How would you respond if you called them a mean name at school” (this is akin to psychological training), etc. the more the baby is interested in the phenomena of the world, the easier it is for the child to learn to think creatively and logically!
To teach children to think for themselves is possible only in the case that as often as possible to give him an opportunity to do it, not a substitute for long (from the point of view of an adult) reasoning with independent findings ready the instructions!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
How to teach a child to think for themselves?