How to wean a child tattling and where babies come from-a sneak?

Yabed in the children’s groups are extremely do not like. Therefore, if the child is prone to resolving their children’s conflicts by involving adults, it lurks just a lot of problems is their reputation among children, the problem of the inability to communicate, to form their own authority, to look for effective arguments in the debate, to take responsibility for their words and actions, etc. Therefore this article on the website will tell you how to wean a child Snitch.

Why kids Snitch?

Because to tell an adult about the problem – this is the most direct, logical, and very effective way to achieve justice for themselves and to take revenge! Moreover, the method is extremely encouraged, it is absolutely legal!

With full confidence I can say: Snitch, the child is taught to adults.

What kind of mother uttered the famous phrase “be Sure to tell me if you get hurt!”? And what teacher has not declared to the expression inherent in the hangman on the place de Greve: “I’ll be back in five minutes, and you’re gonna tell me who couldn’t sit still!”?

In General, and parents and teachers can understand. Mom and dad want trust and sincerity from a childto be aware of all his Affairs and problems.

And if a native child was hurt, and it had come to complain – is it possible to tell the child, “Otocica Snitch, go and take care of it!”? The more parents tend to hyperopic and permanent control over the child, the more likely that the baby will be a tattletale!

Educators and teachers also have a lot of reasons to implement the children’s collective cult of mutual denunciation and espionage. Come on, try for many hours to observe a couple of dozen noisy kids who constantly fight, argue, something to share, about something argue! Is it really in fact you can see who’s what and who took who said?!

So the easiest way to believe that little debater who shouts the loudest: “It’s not me, he started it!!!”. Informer praised, delinquent abuse – well then the child unlearn Snitch?!

What children are most likely to be a Tattler?

I work with children, and I often see between 20 and 30 juniors in the team (whether an orphanage or private school) at the 10 th minute lessons are allocated the child of 3-4that time to report to me who and what in this short time managed to make them suffer. For the remaining half hour of the lesson, they inform me in detail about all the things they think a teacher’s chair it’s impossible to tell who makes a noise who catches pieces of paper, someone whose handle was taken, etc.

While it is not the fact that the victim of the accusation offended the complainer – Itrouble delivers an indescribable pleasure just to convey “up” about everythingthat does not fit into the Charter, and observe the punishment of the guilty!

So before thinking how to wean the child to Snitch, it is necessary to understand – and which children are most likely to be a Tattler?

The website offers the most common collective image of the small of the Complainant:

  • Obedient. To sneak the rules established by adults, stronger “unwritten laws” of a group of children – he strongly believes in the need to implement them and rarely dare to disturb them!
  • Smart, well trained. No wonder most of the “Jumble” and children’s films in the role of sneak stands a girl-a student from the first school Desk! Sneak stupid, because instead of the more simple, instinctive tactics — fighting, screaming, direct explanation of the relationship with the offender; he chooses a more effective way to intrigue is to attract adult as a judge and make a “show trial”. While the tattletale is clear that he is in any case not become of the plaintiff to the defendant in the course is all acting, all the ability to “squeeze out a tear”!
  • Not a leader. To lead the children’s team can only have their own strong reputation and sneak in your own credibility is absolutely not sure, so resorted to the authority of adults. Whistleblowing for him – a way to absolve themselves of responsibility for what is happening, find the patron Saint – leader doesn’t need protection!

However, it is understood that the word “sneak”, we mean the child who constantly complains about adults, and not only when it hurt. For “real” sneak complaint adults is the usual output of 99% of conflict – the problem with this child is that he does not try to solve anything on their own!

If you see it – then we must try to wean the child Snitch in his own interest, otherwise he does not learn to adequately resolve conflicts with peers! By the way, on our website there is an article “How to teach children to resolve conflicts on their own.”

But you need to remember that not every complaint is tattling.

Any child in a certain situation will certainly complain to the adults – the younger the child is, the more often this happens the less time that passes between the moment of resentment and complaint.

For 3-4 years it is quite normal to run sobbing “Maaam, and Peter my car sabriel!”. 5-6 years is desirable though any attempts at “peace talks”. In 7-8 years the complaint has already become the last resort when I really can’t cope!

To wean the baby Snitch is only when he complains and in cases where is likely to try to negotiate with the offender yourself!

And now, when we dealt with those sneak and where they come from, is to do the main question: “How to wean a child to Snitch?”.

What should parents do if a child complains to the offenders? How to wean a child to Snitch?

In any case, do not say: “Why are you telling me – otocica Snitch, go and take care of it!”! If the kid says – then trust wants to help and not to push him away otherwise he will disappear the desire to share something, and parents will be wondering: why he doesn’t trust us?!

Another thing – what kind of help they need?

Not always correct solution is to immediately go to the “scene of crime” and judge of its Supreme court all offenders! This is an extreme measure. So worth it to do only in the most extreme cases, for example:

  • General “persecution”. Unfortunately, this phenomenon occurs in almost all children’s groups. A child who for some reason was the “outcast”, it is almost impossible to change the situation, it requires nerves of steel, excellent intuitive understanding of the psychology of the crowd, charisma, leadership – in reality, without the intervention of adults to emerge from the imposed image of the “white ravens” can be one.
  • Conflict with inadequate hyperexcitable child. These are, alas, often provoke a variety of conflicts. If the victim is a calm, “normal” child, it is unlikely that anything will prove or challenge yourself: you need to intervene to stop the senseless conflict.

If you think that this extreme case does not occur, then you need to talk to the kidto get him to Snitch. Find out the details of what happened – but tete-a-tete with a child, and certainly not in the eyes of the offenders!

Better if there is the opportunity for some time to separate quarreling, and talk to the Snitch after an hour or two when the anger settles.

Finding what happened, ask the child: how he thinks, he could avoid conflict in General, what do you need done? What, in his opinion, wrong abuser, and that would have done it myself if I was in his place? He can feel now the second participant of the conflict, whether he has now reason to be offended by a child?

Perhaps many of the findings will be unexpected for the baby!

After the “debriefing” suggest to think together about what to do next to solve the problem: to apologize, to say “I do not take offense at you”, or something else, depending on the situation.

And should get together and draw conclusions – what not to do in the future to make sure this never happened!

Matter for the child: he has to do something, to apply (or not apply!) one of the jointly invented ways to resolve the situation. If you want to wean the child to Snitch, let him know that the Council and the moral support he can count always, but specific actions still have to make yourself!

Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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