“It runs in the family” — often consoled the mother of his daughters in the days of “arranged marriages”, when the only solution that could make the girl is what kind of book to read. However, living like that. Not even once, and lived happily. Some. Sympaty.net out for exploration: what is married to unloved? Is there a chance?
For some this will sound, of course, extremely strange and illogical. Want angrily and surprised to shout: “why?!”. And then still bring a bunch of popular quotes such as “better to be alone than with anyone”. Maybe so.
However, there are girls (and will, presumably) who marry the unloved.
For various reasons: family tradition and the wishes of parents, pregnancy, fear of loneliness, and many other very personal reasons.
It is not wrong to say that it is now much less common for girls to marry for unloved, and organized marriages is archaic. However, comparing the divorce rate, this relic of the past, and the modern triumph of freedom and love, is sad. Every year the level increases.
And what’s worse – a growing number of divorces within or after 1 year of married life. Tell me how it was a balanced decision about marriage, if it did not survive even a year?
Such statistics “boast” marriage without love can not. Unless, of course, to take into account that it is more a marriage of necessity, “calculation” and “traditions”.
Today, arranged marriages we be going, because it’s hard to call it a relationship, well, if only the market.
We are more interested in how people interact and live together, how they manage to achieve harmony and even love? Maybe there is something to learn?
Married to an unloved
What kind of romance. No, the heart of joy does not flinch when the caller phone. You don’t Wake up with a smile, because even at night IT’s in your thoughts. It’s rather like a new job. Not really my favorite, but interesting. Difficult, but necessary. It just needs to be done.
Perhaps you even think your “choice” is good, but (as they show in the movies) looking at the endless sea or the sunset, you understand how really you are lonely and not happy. The love you bestowed. You married the unloved. And how further to live?..
I apologize in advance for the ugly comparison, but the meaning it conveys is very true. If a person loses a leg (or even two), the way back had not. There’s only one choice – learn to live with it (no legs or prosthesis) to achieve the desired. Not the wailing type “and maybe take off?”.
Of course, you can lie on your back and lay down on his chest, but it is not our option now. How many stories about how people in such situations do not just start to live like everyone else, but has reached such successthat us two-legged only dream of!
So, what we are. Married unloved (for reasons mentioned above), many think so, there’s NO going BACK.
This is a consciously taken decision and have to live like this and do something to live happily, or why it was?
If you both took that decision, over time you will become friends, good friends. Is this not the strong sense? And then… who knows! Since friendship starts the strongest marriages!
Behind this comes the understanding that you need to endure, to yield, to perform THEIR duties in spite of everything, to forgive, to give lovewithout looking at the behavior of the partner.
If you know about the stages of development of the relations, then you probably remember that it all begins not with love, she ends upas the highest reward for years of hard work.
Because the relationship is not always sugar, even if it turned out to marry the beloved. We know that a spoonful of tar spoils a barrel of honey, but in this case we are not able to get this barrel.
And this is the first prerequisite for that, maybe it’s you (married unloved) invent a new unique method for purification of honey from the tar with the help of improvised means and get a prize for it!
Marriage with the unloved more stable. Love is love, but being an ephemeral feeling, it tends to disappear or pohrebets under the weight of domestic and other problems, which you were not ready.
So, the moral of the legend is this: knowing that there is no turning back, you are forced to look for ways to make this relationship work. If you married the unloved, help is always coming eternal and wise “vyruchala” type of forgiveness, acceptance and, oddly enough, love (which you are trying to give the partner). And often it works.
And going through all the stages of development of relations, you have a chance to love on the output. Real.
Married to a loved one
Lucky! And you the envy of the planet, which still not lucky enough to say those cherished words “I love you”, and then finally finish all, saying “YES!” to all known proposal.
Head full of plans for the future, in which everything is done in the colors of the rainbow. Heart is overwhelmed by disturbing emotions. What is already here. No words can describe this happiness. A truly magical feeling…
… but like any magic, they can suddenly disappear into thin air or on the front of a crowd to disappear into the sleeve of a magician.
According to the legend means that if you love each other, we together can overcome any difficulties. And they will!
If everybody knows about it, how, tell, such divorce statistics? Somebody spoil it? Enemies of the state? Or those who married unloved, revenge?
If in the case of “marry the unloved” from nothing we are getting now are exactly the opposite. Having a full vessel of love, we have all the chances to spill it when together we will survive the storm on the ship of our love.
There is an assumption that divorce in marriage is “love” is because initially they take everything for granted. The love originated and it is. Again – lucky! That is, we get used to the fact that good by default. Accordingly, if the problems aren’t just solved with this love, then, love no no. But why then continue? Compactly La Comedy. +1 in statistics.
Of course, this does not apply to all! But we now we are trying to benefit from the facts, and for this we have to be critical.
A strange effect on people having the stamp in the passport! Open new facets of the character, changing behaviour, or at least changing our attitude.
However, if you’ve not faced with such changes , or any difficulties in your active Arsenal are unlikely to have the appropriate tools.
Such as forgiveness, acceptance, patience and, again, oddly enough, love (which now need not just to receive and to give to the ideal man enjoying her, and give consciously imperfect human).
Going out consciously to marry the unloved, girls are often more prepared to relationship. As is known, the most intensive development always happens in moments of crisis, not in times of prosperity.
People who have been married for love for many years, said that the feeling was in the beginning, not gone. It has become a more Mature feeling with a capital letter, which now brings even more happiness. It turns out that “love” was not love. Whether it was necessary as-that on-to another to call her? Maybe it’s my love of the first level?
If so, it turns out that we all aspire to the same – Love. Only one start with more, others less. But this often does not affect the result. But you can!
Here so you can get the candy if you were married to hated, so beautiful can fall apart, if your marriage began to be built on love.
It seems to us that there is much to learn from those who married for love. And there is a reason to rejoice for those who married the unloved. There is a chance! But we have to work.
Love is the force that holds a planet. Probably not in the light of a girl who says she wants to marry unloved.
However, let’s not give the “legend”, which we just talked, and learn from those who understand that true love does not occur, and is created.
If you managed to catch the bird of happiness for a tail and receive more love, don’t let her go! No love, no bird ?
Author – Love Segalove, website sympaty.net – ToKnow365.top.
Married to an unloved – and maybe you are lucky?!