The other day female site Sympaty.net got a sad letter from the girl who suddenly threw a beloved person. Since this situation occurs very often, we decided to share it with all the girls who are in a situation called “dumped Me. What to do?”. So, read the letter!
“I started Dating a man older than me by 25 years. I’m 19. I respect him very much, but always thought I was not for him, because he’s educated, intelligent, calm, and I was a little girl with heavenly dreams, which to him always comes to for advice or help, and he always understands it. I always thought that he’s already got many fans from his lap, as he was a divorced man, standing firmly on his feet.
I had a great disappointment in love and the betrayal of men because my father left my mother when I was a kid. I force gave the study and work, and did everything to be different from all your peers in terms of career and education. However, I am really naive. I was very afraid of love, afraid to get attached, afraid to lose again. Still, at one point I realized that it happened: I fell in love.
He helped me a lot for work and caring too amazing, like a fairy tale, and I started to feel like a Princess. For the first time with this man, I began to dream about family, home and everything else. If he went to, I fell into a panic. I really didn’t want to lose such a person.
I then realized that I have a lot of problems: do not know how to communicate with men, do not know how to behave, not able to care for themselves, and also very suspicious that, unfortunately, is left to me from my father. But I always realized the mistake immediately corrected: learning how to love, to behave, care for themselves, and not to forget about the job. During the year I rose before his eyes. Even learned to cook.
In psychology I read that men, firmly standing on his feet, drawn to such an inexperienced girl like me. It really encouraged me. Thought the God in childhood robbed me of my father, but now sent me this gift.
And a year after our affair he suddenly disappeared. I was in shock, but thought he was preoccupied. Suffered a week, then started calling, went to work for him, he told me he still loves me, but he has a lot of work, not lacking in strength is not time for anything else. Thought it was temporary.
But suddenly I saw her with a girlthat is not just jealous of him though and gave him a look only once. Girl 24 years old, but she seemed more experienced and knows how to talk to men. She was familiar with him before me. When I wanted to approach him, he immediately pushed me away and said that he was tired, that I pursue him everywhere.
It killed me! I can’t work or leave the house. Don’t want to learn. Everything reminds me of him, this year my whole life has contacted him. Everyone says that I have advantages a lot more than him, but I love it. My heart does not obey me. I went through all the exercises that are on Your website and in other psychological sites, but nothing helps. Day by day I more and more feel his absence.
At first I thought that I just had the feeling that I was again thrown and this is my selfishness. But after weighing it all, realized that I may have been selfish, but now it’s love.
Today is his birthday, and I was not greeted, even though my heart breaks. Struggling to control myself. Don’t know where I’ll go again, killing all my feelings inside. Really do not want to once again came to me the feelings that has haunted me all these years, and I was able to overcome them only due to this man.
It may seem silly, but for me it was very important and expensive.
Please tell me there is no chance to start over and not repeat past mistakes?
Left me. What to do?
Maria, thanks for writing! You are not alone, many like You, suffer from the fact that they unexpectedly quit. They also are in limbo, not knowing what to do, how to live. Will try to figure this out!
Mistakes early in the relationship
In the beginning of the relationship You made 3 big mistakes.
In psychology there is such concept as a syndrome of incomplete actions. This is when I really want to finish the job, when all the thoughts started going back to this again and again. Occurs mental work that takes away Your strength. Besides, You spent a lot of effort to MATCH it.
Of course, a pity to lose it all. But, I mean, let’s face it: even the presidential election promised a lot of things, and the whole country, and not someone one. What?!
Understand that your relationship came to an end!
In your heart You still hope that he will remember You and come back. Are you still THERE in my dreams and relationships. However, it is self-deception: he is now with another woman, and it looks like they’re doing well.
Sadly, your ex absolutely still, I congratulate You happy birthday or not (of course, as an intelligent person, he will thank You if You do congratulations, but in my heart will be unhappy with Your obsession).
You need to put a fat point in this relationship — he her for a long time put. Tell yourself, and the best – write and hang in a prominent place, that You broke up finally, never be together, and empty hopes to amuse themselves silly. Try to accept it.
Is it worth trying to return, to start all over again?
Your beloved is now a new love they’re happy. How do You imagine that to “fix” her and to take her place? It’s rude, he won’t appreciate a strong man he’s not gonna be that women were fighting for it. Besides, it is pretty selfish to believe that with You he can do better than her.
I’m pretty sure that to bring back the old love will not succeed. Why? Read the article Why he doesn’t call perfect there is described the behavior of the man who loves You, and he who does not love.
Understand — his love was gone. You are no longer needed. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME! AND IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
In addition, trying to get back the man You humiliate yourself! Then, when Your feelings are gone, the soul can be very bad from what You “fought”.
You threw. What should I do?
Of course, to live on! We should not succumb to stress! You can improve your condition!
Especially for You on our website – two articles about how to survive the separation from loved ones.
In the first described stage of the crisis of parting, through which all who threw. Now You have the first stage.
In the second article of this tips on how to quickly get rid of the crisis of separation and return to normal life.
Maria, I hope You not only the fast will survive the crisis of separation, but will find a new love with her old mistakes. We are with You. Good luck!
The author — Olga Sympaty, site www.sympaty.net – ToKnow365.top
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Me threw What to do?