This article on the website sympaty.net worth reading not so much those women who have already given birth three or more children as those who are just thinking about a big family.
Of course, all families are different, can not be unified rules, which can live in any large family, but the experience of those women who have already decided on several heirs, it may be useful information for others wishing to become mothers of large families.
The large family: how is it?
“ToKnow365.top” wants to warn his readers as “rose-colored glasses” and only gloomy perception of many children. Objectively and lovely family dinners around a big table with a mountain of cakes, and a fun walk with different ages of kids, and the wonderful moments when all the children congratulate mother and give her your rukodelny…
But repeatedly it will be such that you will want to escape from the house (or at least plug your ears with cotton wool so as not to hear any children’s voices at least a day!), you want to spit on diapers/cereal/homework/painted Wallpaper, etc., and no great love for children motivates you not to see them as always just wonderful angels.
You can find many inspirational words as well a large maternity, but in the realities of life – the comfort of family life with multiple children is strongly dependent on material conditions.
It’s one thing to live five of them-six of them in his own house, where there are several rooms, and quite another to live in one-bedroom apartment. Well, if the dad of the kids has a stable sufficient income and the opportunity to spend time with family, and bad if he has to tear veins for many applications, in fact, indulging in your own life and your own interests, Hobbies and recreation for his wife and children.
Great if a children is planned – parents of pre-submitted costs for each of the children (and not only in the first months of his life) and was thinking how to obtain these finances. Bad – if a woman gives birth to “like a cat”, comes out, not thinking about the fact that childhood poverty can be really savory!
The saying “in narrowness Yes not in insult” is perhaps one of the most false and hypocritical stereotypes of Slavic mentality.
In close quarters, then just appear all sorts of resentments and family feuds, of which it is possible to avoid if to consider in advance the availability of a sufficient number of square meters of living space for each new baby. And here the question is not so much in personal altruism or selfishness of the parents – if the mother of the love of children and a great desire to bear and raise are willing to suffer overcrowding and a shortage of everything, does she have the right to condemn it on their beloved children? If she is seventeen, fifteen, ten-year and five-year olds in one room on a double-Decker cots? Whether it is assured that in these circumstances they will truly love their brothers and sisters that all of them will be comfortable?..
A large family mother – this is actually the work of a lifetime, until all the children are powerscout!
Be prepared for the fact that career and different Hobbies you really will be sorely missed time. There will be many troubles and domestic issues, much time will be required to interact with all the children – not enough to feed them, we still have to teach and educate them to be really a mom and not just a “housekeeper” who angrily snaps at all children’s attempts to communicate. If the mother of one child, the majority of women manages to be “free time”, when many children – so that’s out. Unless you have very wealthy family, and you can afford to pay nannies, governesses, AU pair and good childcare facilities for all ages of kids.
In General, many children will bring happiness to parents and children only when it is very deliberate, well planned and very, very desirable life decision!
The principles of life of a large family
A family of mixed-age children is a team that you want to organize… How different families decide the issue differently.
The traditional model of functioning of families with multiple children is help seniors with the care of the younger. Mother, of course, is much easier if you have almost grown teenagers who can be entrusted with many household tasks and care of the youngest. The most complex large – when all the children were born with small breaks, i.e. the same age or so.
However, modern psychologists and educators talking about what to do from an older child for nanny – at least unethical, because the older children, too, should be carefree childhood and adolescence, and they are not obligated to give a lot of time and effort to brothers and sisters – it’s not their own children. The main responsibility and the main part of the trouble in any case should be on the shoulders of parents to do daughter’s “second mother” to the younger children do not. Of course, this does not negate the minimum sisterly or brotherly concern, but still serious help should not be an obligation, but a personal decision older child (and the mother has no right to criticize the daughter or son, if they refuse to invest a lot of effort to help a mother with many children).
Well, if the family has a clear “code of laws” that all childhood crammed that you have to wash the dishes after themselves, to dress themselves and put things in certain places.
What if someone is sleeping you should try not to make a noise, movies, and music should be listen to with headphones (if it’s not family viewing or listening by universal desire), discovered the mud should be removed to clarify the circumstances, because of who it came from, etc.
Some families introduce a clear agenda, some try to provide an individual mode of life for each (for example, to the teenager did not have to go to bed at 9 p.m. simultaneously with the baby).
A very important point – a large family should not become an “orphanage”, where everything is shared and passed from senior to Junior. That each child was comfortable and he was aware of himself as a person, felt their individuality and respect to the relatives of the individual – it must be a private area and personal belongings. At least part of a room with a bed and a shelf, any sacred office in the closet, etc.
Must be things that belong only to one child – bought specially for him, toys, clothing, stationery, phone, tablet, etc., for family. The less peredergivali and perelivami, the less collective ownership – the better it is for the self-esteem of kids.
A big family is definitely difficult if the mother wants to see their children developed, happy and not in need of the necessary. But if a woman has both the desire and the will and wisdom to create a happy family with many children – this woman definitely deserves respect!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Mother: is the benefit of a big family