You’re married, you have a baby, and all of your friends see you as the perfect family. But… you sometimes think that my husband does not like of the child. Care, paternal responsibilities where needed performs, but sincere paternal feelings in this… not much Really if a man can not love your own child, or a subjective feeling? And what if you’re absolutely sure that this is so? Women’s website “ToKnow365.top” will tell about the peculiarities of the relations of men to children and help advice!
The husband loves the child, but in another way – fatherly!
Let’s be honest – what makes you think that husband doesn’t love baby? Not Lisp, does not spread to sweetly smile, squeamish to change a diaper, is not going to be distracted by building towers out of blocks during an important football match, provoked at the sight of parts of LEGO scattered on your bed?
ToKnow365.top can calm you down – worry not. This is a normal paternal behavior.
Many men, even becoming fathers, and not a casual learn to behave with young children, and this is not the pleasure you get. Deep down these dads dream to have a method of getting “ready” for 5-7 year old children in this family, of course! The first 3 years (“Golden years” of motherhood!) fathers prefer as soon as possible to wait, to endure.
This does not mean a lack of love for the child – man is ready to sacrifice for the son or daughter, but all this life, diapers, pots, children crying…
No wonder that in many cultures young children under a certain age stayed with the mother (the female half of the house), and with his father hardly saw each other. But then when the son grew up, he was removed from the women’s environment and began to nurture a fundamentally different way without lisping and emotion – as a future warrior, a real man!
So don’t worry and please don’t call your husband a callous chump – take a few years, and between father and child will develop a wonderful relationship based on interest in communication and joint pastime!
What are the signs that a husband is not experiencing feelings as a father to the child?
What really testifies to the fact that her husband doesn’t love baby?
- Ignoring the problems of the child, unwillingness to solve them.
- Aversion — the reluctance to touch the baby, to kiss, to take on hands etc.
- Constant irritation caused by the presence of the child or children’s clothes, talking about the baby.
- Avoidance of the child – the husband trying not to be alone with the child in a room, locked him in the nursery comes only out of necessity, avoids walks together, etc.
- Anger and irritability in response to attempts by the child to communicate with his father, to attract dad’s attention.
But isolated cases of such behavior can be observed even in the perfect of the fathers! But to say that my husband does not like the child, it is only when it manifests itself in the complex and constantly!
Why men sometimes do not love their own children?
Because in the male body hormone there is no biological mechanism, “including” parental love since birth into the light. A woman can not love other people’s children, not wanting to give birth, but if she had – 99% of the time to love their child would make her nature!
The man is not available – a father’s love is always meaningful. So it happens that, having become a father, a man begins to love the baby immediately, since the early days. It’s not forever – most likely, it will take some time, the husband “feel” his own fatherhood, will begin to see a child’s personality, love it!
Someone to do this, a few weeks after birth, some a year, some of the fathers sincere feelings awakened by the 6-7-year-olds, which is already possible to conduct a meaningful conversation, come up with a joint “mens” classes, etc. it Happens that the real intimacy of the father with the son or daughter occurs in adolescence: the child ceases to need maternal baby talk and parents waiting for something else; and this other can give it to dad!
Originally, the husband can not love a child if:
- He didn’t want to be a father. Women’s focus “to give birth, to strengthen the marriage” does not work – not all women understand it, and give birth to a child against the wishes of the wife, believing that her husband will love the child the fact of its occurrence. And the unwanted child in the eyes of men may long remain as a living reminder of how his wife “cheated”, did not reckon with his opinion.
- He doesn’t like babies at all. Some men (especially those who had never encountered small children – little brothers, sisters, nephews) are generally difficult to understand that the baby is a person, not a noisy complex care “pet”. The total rejection of the imposed situation of difficulty of the first year of baby’s life – a sleepless night, scuffling with hourly feedings, etc.
- Oh, jealous child. Yes, it happens – the husband loves the wife, was not against the birth of a baby, but he was born and… the Man begins to seem like beloved wife away from him, perepechenova your love on a little. Unconsciously, the man shifts the responsibility for the destruction of the idyll on the child and begins to treat him negatively!
- Having a child forced to radically change way of life to move to his mother to throw extreme sports, to find a second job, etc. Like he agreed to it, but the feeling of freedom is experienced by men is not easy. And who is to blame?! Child…
Can I make my husband love your child?
To get a man to fall in love with the impossible, even if we are talking about the awakening of the father’s love.
So it is absolutely pointless to accuse, to shame, to make trouble, to threaten, to give an example of other dads etc. Just take it as a given, and Udovolstviya the fact that the husband does what is required of the father provides all the necessary leads into the garden, etc.
It is possible even that the husband realizes that to love a child – the strange, in a sense, abnormality, regretting it, trying to understand yourself… Talk to your spouse, just don’t beat and don’t make a scandal – say what you would like to understand and help if possible. Very well, if the man would agree to visit a marriage counselor!
To understand, to accept and to love a child helps some of the husbands time spent with the baby alone (not an hour or two, a week, a month…).
Of course, conduct such an experiment is possible only with relatively large children (not babies). The husband will be able to look at the child and understand that parenting is not just a series of endless obligations, and a joy to watch as growing and developing new (native!) man!
And to stimulate the emergence of love… will love!
Don’t be shy to talk and confirm the action that you love my family and husband, and your baby, what gives you happiness, meaning in life. In this atmosphere, your husband will surely overcome your own anxiety and you will never say that your husband doesn’t love baby!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
My husband does not like baby: is it really so and what to do