“Hello, I have this problem — I have always called “you” (even strangers), although the age is decent, 32. Yes, I’m short, slim, look young, but it annoys me. What does this mean? And how to make me call on You?”
The website “ToKnow365.top” answer this question!
What’s wrong with the treatment?
I think that the problem described by our reader, is close to many! However, in all of life’s problems should always look for something positive!
In this case, you certainly do look young (which is a lot better than noticed the discrepancy of age in a big way!).
But, of course, to stay in the eyes of others (especially those with whom you on the brotherhood did not drink), “eternal girl” is not desirable. Because the treatment “you” from the unfamiliar person may indicate that he appreciates you’re inferior, and it already looks like a “psychological hack” — an unauthorized incursion into your “zone of psychological comfort”.
The most typical example of this “breaking”: Gopnik is suitable in a dark alley and says “Hey, you got a smoke?”.
The victim is discouraged by the arrogance of such “familiarity,” and instead to suck it up and make the right decision (to scream, to call for help, run away, if you allow physical training – and then give back!), immediately begins to feel small and weak, loses confidence in himself…
Then Gopnik and puts the requirement of “Hey, Gimme the phone!”. All. Initially discouraged by the treatment “Hey, you’re the” victim meekly giving the required one, and then wonders, “how is it that I succumbed to the bitch?!”.
Of course, the “boys from working-class suburbs” are not even aware of the fact that the use of such a complex psychological trick – they do it instinctively.
Similarly instinctively do the other people using the “eternal girl” to “you”. However, such an image is very difficult to move up the career and social ladder, harder to solve many things…
How to stop being a “puppy”, being a “little dog”?
Perhaps the problem our reader is the proverb about a little dog, which is always a puppy. But the image of a “puppy” can and must change!
And you should start with the external image and style!
Sometimes the image of the “eternal girl” is a woman for a long time due to manner of dress, makeup, hair… Slim, young-looking lady who can longer contemporaries can afford mini skirt, daring cut-outs and other mischief – it’s great!
But if you want to create a more serious image, it is necessary to make the wardrobe changes! At least try to wear:
- Jeans. Yes, it’s a classic! But the peculiarity of the jeans, to the young they give a more youthful appearance, but “pretended to be young” give head – the contrast of this youth in fact clothing not the most recent and imperfect face and figure only ages the bearer of the jeans.
- T-shirts, “hoodies”, jackets, etc. properly and adequately such clothing looks only for teenagers under 18. For anyone older, it’s athletic clothing, in which it is appropriate to go only to the gym, Jogging or camping!
- Short skirts, mini dresses. Leave these things to visit the places where the treatment “you” absolutely appropriate club, meeting with friends, romantic date…
But “ToKnow365.top” suggests to enrich your wardrobe with the following things:
- Dresses below the knee long skirts. Length – 5 cm below the knee of the floor.
- Business suit. Even if you don’t like it, even if your office allowed to go to t-shirt and jeans! “Visual cliches” most people have the same woman in a business suit “you” want to call much less!
- Coat, cloak. Instead of “shot” jackets and windbreakers!
And another tip – look at the style of successful women small stature and youthful appearance: Audrey Hepburn, Dita von Teese, Yulia Tymoshenko, Christina Aguilera, Marilyn Monroe …
They chose an elegant feminine style – and done correctly!
How to hint a man that you dislike the appeal to “you”?
Sometimes delusions “familiarity,” anyone who is younger or lower status, suffer different more or less dignitaries, and just imagine themselves great and important aunties (and uncles) at the age of 50 that way. To re-educate them later.
But to make it clear that in this case their usual “poking” (and in this case it is the “psychological hack”, trying to rise, humiliating interlocutor) will not work, you can!
And for starters… what the interlocutor is also “you”! For example, a colleague speaks to you, “Katya, how’s it going?”. Instead of “Oh, Maryvanna, all is well, and You?”, smile and say: “Oh, I’m so pleased that we switched to “you”! Mashulya Yes, I’m fine!”. Well, if it happens in public – wanting to “poke” you diminished!
But, of course, this works only for those people with whom it is expected some further communication.
And what to do with unfamiliar sellers in the market, the doctors in the clinic, conductors in public transport?.. Not to read them the same moral every time after treatment?
And nothing to do! But you know – that manner of treatment of these innocent people is the most honest indicator of what you look like and what seem! If brisk aunt from the market start a conversation with you with the phrase “my Child, these tomatoes for 15!”, we need to change not them, but himself!
Will follow him – what gait do you go as sit down, stand up, fix my hair, put on coat, etc.? Try to replace teenage sharpness of movements, feminine softness, smoothness.
Develop “Royal” posture. Look to those women who want to be like (in the age closest to your own) – how they move, what gestures and manners peculiar to them?
The main thing – to feel yourself at your age! Then it will certainly feel the surrounding, and the problem of “choice” will disappear!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Pointing: how to get people to address on “you”