“I have a long relationship with a married man. We’re good together, while talking about the fact that he left his family, we didn’t get. But it so happened that I got pregnant from him. He’s still nothing decided. What should I do in such a situation? Do I have to push him to become my official husband? Or let it go?” Irina.
Irina, on the one hand the situation You have – you don’t want. But, fortunately, there is always another side.
Not get to your venue whether it will be You the official husband. While more focus on what You will have a baby. He is now the most important thing. Well, how do You behave with your lover further, I, as a man, something will advise, and so the decision is yours.
No one is to blame
I hope You don’t consider the option of abortion? Especially if You have no children, it’s dangerous, and don’t think Your situation has to do with the tragedy.
First of all, You must realize that no one is to blame for what happened. This awareness will save You from unnecessary anguish, unnecessary thoughts like “But if…” or “why is he…” and so on.
Pregnancy for women is a good thing. Think about those who can’t have children. I’m sure the vast majority of them, without hesitation, would have changed places with You. If this was feasible.
Don’t force it
I must say, what not to do in any case: to put pressure on him. If he promised You nothing many times, so his conscience is clear. And, as I understand from Your letter that he is not “rigged” so that a pregnancy. So he’s not to blame.
You, Irina, the situation is delicate, and because You will benefit more if will give the freedom lover. When a person is forced, the more he resists and tries to do the opposite. This is elementary.
Of course, it may happen that due to Your pressure Your requirements he will leave his family. But it’s not a male thing to do. And don’t give You this boomerang in the future? For example, when his present wife uses her pressure?
He decides to let
Believe me, with these cases of pregnancy outside of marriage, my advice to You: don’t You men!
Give them the opportunity to decide what they’ll do, and what not. It’s not a male ego, is a logical decision due to which in the future will not have to bite elbows. Find yourself a worthy man, will do the right thing.
And in Your case there is another family, his CURRENT FAMILY! You have, as they say, rights less. Therefore, get more, great, but if not get what you would like, naturally, and tragedy no-no.
If You and him had a good relationship, he will try to take care of the baby, to meet him, to participate in education and so on. That is, the child’s father in any case. And no one will forbid you to meet with her lover in the future.
Fated to love outside of marriage? Why not? To complain about it? Many do not, this love.
The author – Igor Kolosov, the site www.sympaty.net – ToKnow365.top
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Pregnant by lover