Punishments in education – a touchy subject. On the one hand, punishment as a method of education existed since ancient times — in fact, it is proven the development of folk pedagogy. With another world now pedagogy seeks to maximize the freedom of the individual child and to grant him all possible rights, and punishment in this concept to fit with difficulty. So how do you find the “Golden mean”? Versed on unusual women’s website sympaty.net!
Parenting without punishment: is it worth to strive for?
Modern pedagogy literally before our eyes changes the age-old ideas about the role of the child in the family. If earlier the child was seen, in fact, a man of “second-class” — it was decided not to take his opinion into account, was considered absolutely normal to force a child to do something he does not want, and in General “mold” of him such a person, what I want parents, and almost any means — but now everything has changed.
Current child psychologists and luminaries of pedagogical science consider a child of any age as a man endowed with the same rightsas adults.
Examines the features of the child’s psyche, and there is a gradual refusal from authoritarian methods of education based on the sole decision of parents or educators (on this subject you can read, for example, a book Kathryn Kvols “Parenting without punishment”). In many countries juvenile justice that considers punishment as illegal actions.
So many parents set themselves a noble goal – to abandon the punishment at all!
And… Well, personally I haven ‘t seen any of the family, where it really would have worked! Because of the theory — theory, but in reality to keep a child from a large and very stupid ones intimate conversations sometimes just impossible!
Punishment as a method of education
If you have not yet decided to abandon the punishment in the education, it’s worth thinking – what penalties are a real pedagogic benefit, and what may cause psychological trauma for a child? The website “ToKnow365.top” wants to help you deal with this difficult dilemma!
How to make the punishment constructive?
- Follow a logical chain of “cause – effect”. That is, ideally, the punishment should be a natural result of the wrong actions of the child: teased cat – it scratched, not did my homework – got a bad grade, soiled pants and went to school in a dirty (or not go over to my buddy, since there is no net), etc… If direct negative consequences for the child in his offense there, and I must teach him educational lesson, at least, associate the punishment with the cause. For example, I played for too long computer games – even “work” late hours the next day with some useful things around the house, deliberately broke the toy will not get for a long time, etc.
- Do not make punishment on the principle of “might makes right”! Banned physical punishment as well as punishment, based on the inability of the child to achieve the desired force at a small age and weakness – for example, hide a favorite toy back where he won’t be able to get it.
- Articulate the reason for the punishment and why it isnot “I’m an adult, I’m your mother and I decided so — so, so be it” and “You did something, it is a pity/shame for you/hinders, etc. So I don’t want you now to help/cheer you up/fix made by you, you yourself should be held accountable for his actions!”.
- Don’t punish the children for what they do not understand or otherwise interpretiruya. Many children’s nonsense hiding a very serious and important, logical explanation: he wanted to know what would happen, thought will turn out quite differently, wanted to achieve something, but failed, So let’s talk and find out what the child wanted and then decide to punish or not!
- Do not humiliate the child punishment. Whatever he did, the punishment should not show a disregard for the dignity of the child and his feelings. For example, can be a humiliating public punishment – with friends, peers. A small child can symbolically slap, but for the older this will be very painful for the baby.
The “right” punishment is a demonstration of their own grief, resentment and other emotions from the act of the child, and change in your relationship. Based on this principle, the simplest sentence – “I’m not talking to you anymore, I’m offended!”. More tips read our article “How to scold a child.”
How to hold back and to do without unnecessary punishment in education?
I think most parents who read the above, agree with the website sympaty.net and even try to punish the children exactly “by the rules”! But sometimes in all families it happens that the child just does something “to spite”, “out of spite”, and in a fit of anger dad grabs the belt and moms scream at their child!
So the key is for parents themselves to learn to curb his anger on the child.
And consider whether in this case the punishment for the child motivation not to do so in the future, or sullenly he had served half an hour in the corner and argues the idea that they needed to be even more harmful and stubborn?
Because the purpose of punishments in the proper education – not just “train” the child to do specific actions for fear of being punished again, and show him that his negative actions have interrelated negative for the child.
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Punishments in education: is it possible to do without them?