“Good day, female site sympaty.net. Please help me to determine the time in a relationship with a man when you can agree to intimacy with him. And generally is there a time frame previously which it is better not to go for intercourse? Thank you. Kira”
Kira! There is no question in relationships with men that would concern a lot of girls often. But this issue is a complex one that involves many individual responses, that is, one pair is perfect the other is not.
Still, I will describe for You some of the features in the behavior of men. And, hopefully, this will allow You not only less “burn”, but look at this serious problem from a different perspective, that, you, too, can be called a solution.
There are no rules!
Kira, how would You respond if I told you that after meeting you can agree to have sex in 47 hours, 52 minutes and 38 second? Of course, I’m kidding. But this joke is born conclusion: the optimal time to agree to sex after Dating (day, week, month) does not exist.
In one movie the hero Kevin costner has sex with a woman within minutes after she saw it. And only after that they meet. It is not even immoral, and ridiculous.
But this is extreme. Will also be extreme, if the man and woman will “pull” with sex, testing the strength of the relationship, 10 years. And it is not clear which of these extremes is less “extreme” ?
Sure, there are couples who have kept “decent pause” between the introduction and the first sex, but they still broke up for different reasons. Conversely, there are many couples where “premature sex” has not led to the break-up, and then even followed the marriage, normal family and so on.
What of this conclusion? THERE ARE NO RULES! Can happen anything you like, and any calculations will not give You 100% guarantee that You will not go wrong. Mistakes can be avoided, if you sit at home and with anyone-no You want this “infallible” ? option?
Sex and the Bible – the good!
To begin, remove the question from the importance! Let it will no longer torment You. Just live and enjoy your life. Pearl diver (divers) say: you have to want to find at the bottom of the pearl, but not too much!
It too much importance all the spoils. You’re worried, and as a result involuntarily themselves give rise to the reefs in the Wake of developing a relationship. Your inner control compels You to be in constant tension.
Stop refers to sex as a confrontation, where who someone needs to beat!
It is better to just remind yourself: it was after “that” the source of life. “It” is the strongest antidepressant. “It” brings people together like nothing else. In “this” man partly reveals its essence, and, therefore, wants the same from a partner.
Men need more than sex!
There is a myth: men only want “one thing”. Yes, men do need. But believe me, women need it as much! Simply men more often take the initiative first. So accepted in society, and so Nature has created.
In the most famous novel of Remarque “the triumphal arch”, the main character just wants to “relax” with a woman to brighten up a difficult time in her life, and as a result it comes to love, which never in his life was not. And started with the usual “I’m only this.”
I confess that in my personal life happened something similar. My future wife didn’t strike me as such, nor a day, nor a week, nor much longer after I met him. While I have always believed that “everything becomes clear” very quickly, but somehow it does not happen.
Life is not to outline and to paint to get ready to schedule!
If men needed only one, couples would not exist. No man would want to have a child, since he had “only one”. Would be a “surrogate” family and fatherhood, but not what was and is now.
What he wants: you or any other?
And yet men have “it” more involved in physiology, and women have “it” more personal (although there are different men and women). Because I can not admit that often in a relationship with a woman to the man “need only one”. Is it possible to determine such a case?
Male “boost” events? His actions present “rush”, as if to live a few days left ? ? All of his conversations, actions, and desires boil down to wanting to persuade You to have sex? In short, he is “itching”? Chances are, he really needs sex, not You.
On the other hand, even in this case, when you “hurry” (hurry-hurry, dear, come on the same ? ), a man may wish with You and a permanent relationship. Conversely, “slow” is not going to offer You a hand and heart ?
You have to feel, whether You want to pursue a relationship with this man or not. Go to candor: admit it, You want not only one or two meetings. Ask him if he wants the same. This is not a guarantee that You will not be deceived, but if the man has a sensitive soul, he would have to think what to do next. Your sincerity can knock even the ground from under the feet of a liar!
Be feminine, happy, bright! You can even “edit” the original plans of the men in the desired direction! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! Remember: the man himself is not always aware of whether he is with You only “it” or he’s ready for something more. People are not robots, and men in particular.
Is there a happy medium?
Too fast to accept the risk that You will weaken his own desire long-term relationships, if there is one. But too long to pull the risk to push the man.
Unfortunately, women may “use” a man for whatever reasons (e.g., Mercantile), and Your potential partner will lose interest in continuing relations, if those relations have”stalled”. The man just decide that You do not know whether he needs You, or not want intimacy with him.
Is there a “Golden mean”? It is, but it ‘s hiding somewhere in Your heart. Still, paired the woman decides “WHEN WILL IT be.” If a man (say a child) good, and You want to be with him, do not torture that is prepared for You future. Try and on an emotional level to “catch” the right moment.
If You have it for the first time, it is clear that the prelude may be longer (although this is not a rule!), and any sane man would react to this with understanding.
But do not forget that now not the Middle ages. Now it is quite normal to live up to the marriage, to marry for the first man. Now it is quite normal to know not only each other, but also how you approach each other in bed. We will not discuss whether it’s right or not is another topic, just don’t forget about this fact. Repels not only corruption, but hypocrisy.
Kira, in any case, it is important Your own attitude to what happened. Will blame himself for the apparent failure is and will remain a failure. Be grateful to someone for what he was in Your life, and from time to time will look back with pleasant nostalgia.
So, from me to You talisman:
Your touch softer and sweeter than the summer breeze that brought the smell of lilacs!
The author – Igor Kolosov, the site www.sympaty.net – ToKnow365.top
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Sex: when to take it?