Sibling rivalry: how to reconcile older child with a younger

With this problem faced by many families. Child jealous of the mother, usually the second child in the family. It can manifest in different ways- the tantrums, the disobedience, the desire to hurt the younger, the simulation of disease. If your family children’s jealousy is the real problem or you want to prevent it, planning a second child, read today’s article on the “Beautiful and Successful”.

Where does sibling rivalry and how to respond to it?

Mother to baby is the most important, near and dear people. He is small and mom was his one: is on the handles, fondles, lulls.

The older the child becomes, the more independent it needs to be. Mother can not continually be around.

The children are shy, anxious, morbidly attached to his mother with it, and so difficult to handle. And if her mom’s attention, someone is trying to “take away”, it can be a serious shock to the child and to give impetus to the development of sibling rivalry.

There are times when after the divorce mom has a new husband and a baby on the fence about it, jealous mother. How to avoid sibling rivalry in this case and how to prepare a young child to a new man in the family, we are told in detail in the article “the Stepfather “new dad” for the kid”.

And today’s article will be devoted to the question of what to do if a child is jealous of younger brother or sister.

Sibling rivalry: how to reconcile older with younger

How to react if an older child was jealous of the mother after the birth of younger brother or sister?

The reason in General is clear – suddenly he ceased to be the centre of attention in the family, all now obsessed with this baby, and he is left to himself!

The General advice given by child psychologists in such cases, do everything to the eldest child did not feel “abandoned”.

  • First, from the beginning look to him for help to care for a baby. Even if he can’t do anything worse than to bring a jar of powder or wash the pacifier had fallen on the floor. Be sure to tell the child what he is already great and a real helper. So at least he will feel involved in a General hassle to care for a baby. But don’t turn this into a compliance perspective, it ask for help.
  • Second, try to keep those rituals and traditionsthat were in your family before the advent of the newborn and which are important to the child. At least part of them. Let this time with a newborn will be someone else from adults, and you at least 10 minutes older read a bedtime story, if he used to sleep only after that. Children, like adults, are extremely painful to tolerate the break-up of the usual ritual.
  • Thirdly, be attentive to the eldest child ofhis requests. If you can’t do what he wants right now – explain why and do it later. Not crevices and don’t yell at older, even if very tired and annoyed.

How to build relationships between the children, if the youngest child is already out of newborn age, able to walk, talk, play?

  • Try to occupy the kids with games and activities, to participate in that, they are both fun. Unobtrusive give them an idea what to do in the overall game that in the end everyone did what he’s better at it. For example, let the eldest brother builds a Palace out of blocks, while Junior builds cars in a row in the Parking lot at the Palace.
  • Encourage all kinds of hanging around, especially where you too can participate. Watch cartoons together, read aloud books. Let one child sits to the left of mom, and the other on the right. After some time, they may not remember what movie they watched, but they will keep the memory of joint activities with each other and mom. The more of these moments will be in your family’s life, the better.
  • Toys should be divided into two categories: personal (each child) and common. To avoid any conflicts on this soil, teach your children to ask permission to take personal thing else, to toys, to play at a time.

Psychologists suggest – you can not blame the older child in the presence of Junior, especially if your family has a place of childish jealousy. If he did something, get in another room and guide the educational conversation.

If the youngest child is the instigator of the conflict and doesn’t know how to say, apologize for him to the older child.

If sibling rivalry aggressive

If you notice that jealousy of a child to a younger brother or sister receives threatening (he tries to tweak, to push the younger away something from it), it should immediately stop.

But do not punish or frighten a punishment – so you will only aggravate the situation, and the older more hate Junior.

Try to affect the belief: “Why are you teasing brother/ sister? Put yourself in his/her place: how would you feel if you pinched? You’re a senior, then you are smarter and stronger, so your goal is to protect young, to help them.”

Be persuasive and persistent and do not leave children alone until you are sure that the children’s jealousy disappeared in this way.

If the family has no conflicts, and the child, however, continues to show aggression towards a little brother or sister, you may want to seek the advice of a child psychologist.

Female site wishing you patience! Remember – the vast majority of cases, children’s jealousy “cured” with attention and love. Often hug and kiss your child, praise him and be interested in his Affairs and he will see that it is still important for mom and mom loves him no less!

The author – Mama Puma, site

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