The child brings up grandma: is it good or bad?

Three years of this decree in fact is not enough: there’s sure to tell a mother! Material circumstances are pushing women to return to work as soon as the child ceases to require constant supervision and care, and… Very often it is because there is a classic situation: most of the time the child brings up grandma!

But if, besides, the baby is not given to kindergarten… Such educated grandmothers of children is clearly much more than is commonly believed! What are the pros and cons of grandmother’s education – look at the website!

Grandmother’s education – long folk tradition?

In actual fact, if an unbiased look at the issue of working mothers is not “the scourge of our time”! On the contrary, nowadays women are given the opportunity as much as 3 years to baby-sit or even to extend the deadline – say, finding home-based work or living on the income of the spouse.

But in ancient times, ordinary people did not have these opportunities: the mother of a large family had to work in the fields, care for livestock, maintain a complex rural economy – and no decrees she issued!

And often, barely recovered from childbirth, a young mother went to work in the field…

Who was in charge of the baby (but not one — because families had many children, often gave birth to children)? Of course, the child was raised by grandparentswho, because of age freed from the heavy peasant work!

That is, until the baby was very small and it was impossible to involve the help of an adult, it was nursed the older generation of the family. Parents “reins” back usually when started direct labor upbringing — her mother began to teach to the farm daughter or father began to teach his son something “masculine”, etc.

Remember the folk tale (Yes, even “the Turnip”!) – how often do they start with “Lived-were the grandfather Yes the woman, and it was their granddaughter/grandson…”. The character of the mother or father appears very rarely!

Even the folk tales in the popular mind – that is “grandma’s” and not “mommy”!

Why? So it was hardly a mass phenomenon of abandonment of children. And that’s why mom and dad were “behind the scenes” of what worked, and they had no time to babysit young listeners stories!

And how relevant is the tradition of my grandmother’s upbringing in our days?

Whether to seek to completely abandon the aid of a grandmother in child-rearing?

Classic problem: it often happens that the grandmother raises the child not the right way and the wrong way, which seems right for parents!

Why is grandmother raising a child, love him so much to treat? Of course, they love the children, but for grandparents is not a direct personal responsibility, how to grow grandson that he will take away from education, etc.

And before you accuse my mother that she was somehow wrong turns with your child, you should think about this.

Parents in 99% of cases gave birth to and raising a baby for something: they confer on him some hope, they have an idea of the “ideal child”, which is to achieve education.

Not to mention parental pride, maternal perfectionism – when you want to educate your child the most clever, gentle, creative, etc. the list goes on… We talked about this in the article “why children?”.

Parents (and, of course, so no need to frantically search for an excuse!) set specific goals for the child and his future.

But grandma and grandpa’s love is different! It is devoid of this “pragmatic component” — they have already achieved their parental ambitions for their children and it passed to them stage! Therefore, grandmothers have an amazing ability to love the grandchildren just as they are, anything they are not wanting in return!

Remember your childhood and watch your children: how often is the child after the parent fair notation runs to her grandmother, who just sigh and give candy! A typical situation, isn’t it?

And do not rush to blame mom too loyal – that this unconditional love and support is very important for a child!

Do not be afraid that the child will love grandma and grandpa morethan mom and dad – the children are very sensitively and accurately prioritize and parents are always out of competition! Even if the five-seven capricious claims that the “good grandmother, she did not scold, but mother bad – nothing resolves and screams!”, it is probably a temporary phenomenon. Growing up, the child will experience and realize that it’s just “different kinds of love”!

I know many people who now, in adulthood, in difficult moments of life just go to his grandmothers because grandmothers do not judge, just support and comfort…

As a grandmother can help raise a child?

Actually, the situation when the child is brought up by the grandmother, sometimes very good! For many children it really is much better with noisy kindergarten teacher or a hired nanny!

Grandma already has teaching experience – she’s been with you the path that you pass to your child.

Therefore it is necessary to revive the memory of your childhood and that now you feel awful and not educational in relation to your child, he remembered touching, happy moment of your own childhood!

So think – what was it your childhood? As a mom, now become my grandma, raised their children? What was most remarkable in dealing with mother when child was you? Why you mom wanted but lacked?

Ask the mother to do with your kids that enjoyed yourself once — for example, have her cook something together with my grandson, or teach him to knit, or just make the tea and tell something from my youth… Such moments of warmth and closeness with the older generation of the family are often many hours of school lessons – after all, this fellowship is remembered for a lifetime!

And if the child is brought up by the grandmother, it is not always she indulges recklessly, as it seems to parents – it sends the kid the accumulated life is the ability to love, to give kindness and warmth!

And this is the most valuable thing you can give your child!

Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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