Once my colleague, a pretty young woman, very sociable and cheerful appearance, complained that she was given to the subordinate officer-the man. And it’s not this particular man – according to her, she’s just… afraid of men! In the company of men shy, tries not to speak, in mixed company communicating only with members of “their pack”. It bothers her and in his personal life – she is divorced and have 4 years not trying to start a new relationship… If the situation when a girl is afraid of men, familiar to you – a women’s website “ToKnow365.top” I will try to help!
Psychological installation, which is a fear of men
I’m not a fan of the ideas of Sigmund Freud, but in terms of relationship to men, convinced that it really is laid in childhood, for example, the relationship in the parent family.
And how to behave mother and father, grandparents, etc., affects what will be considered men girl when I grow up – the same people with whom you can freely communicate, alien or aliens, to try to understand them – it is useless.
The losers are not only women who were born with a single mother, but also those that were watching the wrong attitude in a full family , e.g. father is henpecked, or, on the contrary, the father is a tyrant.
Any installation carried out of childhood, girls are afraid of men?
- “Giraffe great, he knows better.” Only, of course, not a giraffe in a literal sense, but man! And even if deep down, the girl was able to distinguish sound reasoning from a man’s mouth from a complete nonsense, and even to find arguments to defend their position out loud she will not say anything except the respectful “Ah, you’re right…”. And all because a man is a man, and to contradict him is not necessary – he is right a priori!
- “Mind of man does not understand…“. They say that men – being deeply alien to us women, according to the spirit. Try to understand their problems, feelings, worldview – meaningless, still opinions do not get together. Therefore, it is better not to try – they are in themselves we are alone!
- To communicate with a man only when seeking a romantic relationship with him. I mean, the girl knows how to flirt, flirt, but can not just communicate on equal terms. Sensing the inappropriateness slamming Flirty lashes, she simply prefers to avoid contact with “just a man”.
That is, the problem is that the girl is afraid of men because does not consider himself equal to them in intelligence, rights and opportunities, itself reduced to a “second class person”. Hence the reluctance to understand men, study them and conclude that they are people too – in fact we have in common much more than different!
“Psychological stop signal” from the past
Another common situation – a girl is afraid of men of a certain type of appearance and behavior (for example, complete with a loud voice, or tall and taciturn, etc.).
The thing is that once in her life had a negative experience with a man that had these features – a bad relationship or marriage, a very strict father’s parenting, but just some school conflict with the teacher on the most unloved subject! And now any “hook” reminiscent of about this man, is the “stop-signal” for any communication is subconsciously a woman is looking trick!
And sometimes the failure in your personal life can lead to the formation of attitudes towards all men, without exception – “they’re all assholes, period!!!”. And communication with any representative of the “enemy army” based on the principle “Oh, you bastard, I’ll show you!..”.
In fact, this “reconnaissance”, but to build a quiet non-confrontational relationships with men (not only romantic, but friendly, working, etc.), this tactic is not perfect – man would be particularly bitchy woman with high self-esteem… and it doesn’t come, that she herself is afraid of men, and thus is protected from “invasion of the soul”!
How to learn to communicate with men on an equal footing?
The key to the ability to communicate with men without timidity – the realization of equality with them. Sometimes this realization happens after meeting with some special man in your life, but hope for a Prince who will come and save, in General, not worth it!
Any change of attitudes is first of all, work on yourself.
And women’s website “ToKnow365.top” can only give some advice to girls who are afraid of men:
- Try to have a friendly relationship with a man. Not a novel, and that is friendship! Best of all, if this man would not cause you have no stray thoughts even on a subconscious level – as a brother or a classmate-losers. Discuss with him all the things I can discuss with her friends, including the clothes, makeup and Boyfriends – but soon, you certainly feel that with a male range of topics to chatter will increase significantly! It’s fun! Fear of men leaving at the same time understand and feel, what are men, when not seeking to mislead the girl brain and explored the contents of the bra!
- To communicate with a man who you seem completely alien and incomprehensible – for example, with a foreigner, or a biker, or a rock musician — Yes, that takes courage! But if a girl overcome a fear of men, will be able to feel that there are stronger gender differences – for example, linguistic, cultural, ideological… But they at desire can be overcome – what can we say about the difference between the sexes?
- Get a few friends on the Internet. If the girl is afraid of men and afraid to voice their opinions on various issues in the correspondence, you can make anything you want, with no risk of shame, to drop his reputation, etc. – this is the Internet, the reputation of no one here simply no! And you – not you, but a certain person of a female under the name “Lady Mary”. ? But will be trained in courage and sincerity of expression of their thoughts!
Generally, convince yourself that nothing terrible men do not – they are people, with their complexes, fears and anxieties…
Don’t avoid male society, try to get out of the secluded area and “your two cents” — first you do it with willpower, and you’ll know that men’s hear and do not believe a fool. Trust me, it’s very pleasant to feel the attention in the company of men, and for this every girl should stop being afraid of men!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
The girl is afraid of men how to change attitudes