Many parents are familiar with, seemingly, nowhere emerging the problem of child abuse. The child from a normal, happy family, beloved, without any deviations in development begins to show aggression and violence – tormented by domestic animals, hurting other children, prefers action games with fighting and violence, etc. Why this might be happening and what to do if a child is… evil? Tell sympaty.net!
Manifestations of child cruelty
When parents or teachers discuss the problem of child abuse, we are often talking about completely different phenomena, with different causes! Accordingly, in order to effectively adjust this time with the help of education, you need to understand what violence the child are dealing.
The website sympaty.net tried to make a rough classification, but be warned, in “pure form” of each of the following phenomena rarely exists!
- The child receives pleasure from observing cruelty – causing pain to an animal or human, someone’s suffering, etc. This is the case when children are bullied domestic or stray animals, with a visible pleasure in killing insects, without compassion, but with interest to see if their eyes hurt man, and sometimes themselves trying to cause pain to bite, pinch, scratch, etc.
- The child is unmotivated aggressive. Conflicts with other children often decides the fight (by the way, you can read what to do if the child fights), aggression responds to the emotional aspects of life.
- In games dominated by stories of violence, fights, battles, murders and etc. Sometimes you can observe how these children with obvious pleasure in the game represent pools of blood, severed limbs and other entourage of fighters.
- The child consciously and with pleasure is engaged in “psychological violence”: teasing and hurting other children, comes up with a clearly offensive situation. Moreover, as the victims choose, as a rule, those who can’t give a worthy rebuff Junior or mentally weak children (and a weakness: he feels!). The final goal is to observe the resentment of victims, tears, etc.
- The child has no sympathy and pity in those cases where it would be natural: when someone is bad, sad, hurt, or when reading of the relevant episode in the book, viewing the film…
Children’s cruelty: causes
Sometimes see a situation where adults, including parents, are not even trying to think about the cause of child violence: Yes, a child to criticize or punish in each case, but the question of why the child is evil and what to do, answered in the spirit of “Oh, it’s there! At least scold, at least punish – nothing to help… it’s in the nature of it, such character!”.
Are there cases when the propensity to violence can be called congenital? Psychologists answer – no!
Inherent property of the psyche can be called hyperactivity (it also said), choleric temperament, conflict is usually appears externally as aggressiveness. If we are talking about such a hyperactive child, his acts of cruelty, most likely – pugnacity, lack of sensitivity to the emotions of others, an interest in conflict games and more. Yes, it is his innate properties, and the output here is not to suppress the child in its manifestations (such as “Sit down! Stop the endless war! Fight again – I’ll show you!!!”), but to find “fresh air” – for example, to give it in active competitive sport.
What are other causes of child abuse?
Very often is that the child wants to feel stronger, more meaningful, something in the surrounding world influence… someone Who feels its importance and superiority, coming out victorious from a fight (for the sake of these children often instigate the obviously unequal forces fight – beat the weaker, younger children), someone (usually older age) are using “psychological violence”, someone quietly tortures animals, feeling that people to be big and strong fails etc.
Why the child can not find a normal, peaceful method of self-realization and affirmation? And this is clearly a defect adults! This occurs if the child is raised authoritarian – to keep the “iron fist”.
But sometimes parents don’t even notice their own authoritarianism, sincerely believing that so, in rigor, and to raise children – like, grows up to decide for itself, and while small, let him unconditionally obey!
The result – the child sees that he strongly does not affect anything, his opinion does not listen, they just call the shots. He formed a chain of logic: in order for something to influence, to assert themselves, need to be physically stronger or older. And here he finds a weaker creature and “removes the soul”! That is, the problem of violence in children it often causes an inferiority complex!
And yet, alas, cause of violence in children even with normal family and school education, be cartoons, movies-adventure, computer games , etc. to Develop this theme will not, because as said so many times — negative impact whole of the industry on children is indisputable.
The child is evil: what to do?
How to remove the problem of child abuse or to prevent its occurrence? General guidelines:
- Listen to baby, don’t suppress him of his parental authority, even if he’s wrong, or wants something that has no direct benefit or apparent rational sense. Because you can talk, discuss, argue – and, in the end, give the child the right to make their mistakes and learn from them! The child should not be the concept of “over one and “have the right”!
- Do not use physical punishment and restrictions, regulated physical strength. It is not so much about a symbolic spanking, how about the moments when a little child holding by the hand and lead where necessary, even if he is crying, etc. of Course, should not be in reality painful physical punishment!
- Help the child to win. In anything – in the disputes, in games, sports, etc. to Every child at any age sometimes need to feel the best, the winner – it creates a normal self-esteem! Moreover, not only with parents but also with peers – point energy of the child in the activity, where it is really competitive, help him realize it! In any case don’t laugh at his success in anything and do not underestimate them, praise the child for his small victories.
- Explain to the child what kindness, empathy – and also the fact that other people and animals, too, can be hurt, sad, etc. And in fact cause of childhood cruelty to animals and insects at a very young age can serve as a sincere research interest is young children, in reality, may not understand that “experimental” it hurts!
- The “filter” of television and computer content viewed by the child. And Yes, if dad is watching the fighters, and the kid runs near it is also considered!
The problem of child abuse is quite solvable – even if you know firsthand, it is likely that this will remain a child and will not affect the formation of adult personality!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
The problem of child abuse: what to do if a child is angry?