The syndrome of chronic loneliness: where does it come from?

Certainly among your friends and acquaintances is one such girl: intelligent, not ugly, no marginal habits – and one! I mean, without a pair. Never married, the guy has (or never had!), questions about the family sullenly remained silent.

The diagnosis is clear – “a syndrome of chronic loneliness”! Where it comes from, what is and how to fight it – read women’s website ““!

The crown of celibacy?

So with a light hand, all attendants-fortune tellers-the prophetess began to call the situation, when a woman for a long time (what’s that — “long”? To 25? To 30? To 40?) not getting married.

Is expressed in two variations:

  • The woman herself avoids marriage and consciously makes all the men. The sighs of moms and dads about the “crown of celibacy” on daughter firmly replied that all this stupid superstition and she consciously did not want to tie himself to a serious relationship. This form of the syndrome of chronic loneliness usually stems from some painful experience of life: a bad breakup with an ex-boyfriend (especially if it was a first love), children’s impressions about the rapidly occurring divorce… “Cured”… love! Because sooner or later the time will come when she will meet her Prince, for whom spit on all the “obligations of celibacy”! After all, the ability to love and to love of man never leave, even after a very serious psychological trauma.
  • A woman wants to marry! But do not call! Although the poor have trodden more than one pair of shoes, running on dates, suitors appear, read on his forehead the sign ladies “Want to get married, pick someone!!!” and… disappear. Because I don’t want to be a means and not an end! And sometimes Mademoiselle herself sets such a high bar for applicants for her hand and heart that no one can jump over. “Neopragmatic” she banishes shame, and the rest scatter to find someone with feeling, mental and… easier. To “jump” is not forced with a stopwatch was standing.
  • In both cases, the victims of the syndrome of chronic loneliness is to understand that men are people too! They are just as scared to blurt out nonsense on a date, they can be tired to carry both your backpack hike, they more often than we want to use the toilet, they are in a bad mood (though there are no “critical days”)…

    In General, young ladies will descend from heaven to earth – the little princes and all of them is not enough!

    “Jar of hearts obyedinennoy and dissociation close to shower”

    Remember the movie “Irony of fate…”? The protagonist, Zhenya Lukashin worried that marriage will be a daily watch as wife “flashes back and forth.” Because he lived with my mother until I met Nadia – a victim of “chronic loneliness.” And then there is hope for a happy ending!

    This story perfectly illustrates the behavior and way of thinking introverts – people who are for peace of mind and tranquility, the solitude is an absolute must! Such person to carry alone sacks of coal than sitting for 8 hours a day in a busy office under the supervision of a dozen eyes, and returning home, he finds a completely comfortable spending an evening alone with a book.

    The most terrible dream of the introvert – “big happy family”. The same “flicker”. Wife runs around the kitchen and talking, children yelling and shoved under the nose of notebooks with stupid jobs, and even, God forbid, mother-in-law sits down to watch another talk show…

    “To ingratiate himself” to the introvert it is not easy! That is, to communicate with him, but not breaking into the “Holy of holies” — not pretending to be complete honesty and “turning the soul inside out” with him. Of course, he, like all people, want to have a native soul, a close person.

    But the selection is so severe that it go Oh so hard! Most chances are… such as chronic loners! Because such “pair” hardly begin to break each other their way of life. The woman is an introvert more likely to confide in knight, who will come to her house with a cake and quietly drinking tea in the kitchen, trying to win her sincerity and understanding than the one who started taking her to clubs and make many friends.

    It all starts in childhood?

    Psychologists say that, indeed, the causes of the syndrome of chronic loneliness should be sought in childhood.

    A woman can learn the postulate “man is evil!” from mother. Subconsciously, of course. If the mother herself dissatisfied with their own personal life, she and daughter will begin to instill antipathy to “representatives of the camp of the enemy.” And daughter not-so-strong character to come into conflict with the mother and become a “defector”, gradually begins to think: “what? My mommy loves me and understands better than all of us together well! Why else would a man?”.

    And it so happens that the girl who grew up in a “dysfunctional” family, seeing a parent squabbles and scandals, comes to the conclusion that the family is bad and burdensome. And becomes a “chronic loner”, fearing the same parental experience.

    But sometimes, society is inclined to attribute the syndrome of chronic loneliness to those who they do not suffer! Well, what, pray tell, “chronic loneliness” can be 16-17-18-year-old girls?! But if this young lady in high school or, God forbid, and the Institute got a boyfriend, all my friends are of the same age come together to make fun of her “blue stocking” and “black sheep”!

    Frankly, 3 years ago, in my 20s, I was such a “black sheep”. Blushed heavily upon hearing the word “sex”, and considered indecent to look at a cute guy on the street. My wise mother said to me: “When a woman will need to have a crush on her, it will definitely fall in love!”. I had not believed. Now I’m 23, 2 years of which I are happily married. So decide to believe or not believe?!

    Author – Dasha Blinova, site

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