Child theft is a problem that can still appear in low-income, thoroughly middle class. Once you find that honey, which has always provided the best carries the detail of the parent wallets (or not change, or only the parent)…
And what to do if a child steals – how to wean him from it forever?! Tell original women’s website sympaty.net.
Why did the child steal?
Will not talk about that option when the child grows up in a marginal environment, where theft is almost the norm, and he just takes over the older their lifestyle and life principles.
Let’s discuss the case when for petty theft gets the usual “home” child.
Of course, the first question that starts to worry the parents why the child began to steal, because he has everything you need and more, and he knows that stealing is bad!
Of course, he knows. Daring to steal something, the child is probably taking into account that this is bad and condemnable.
Moreover, it is certainly not just afraid of punishment, and quite frankly in one way or another tormented conscience, because it brought up!
When the author of these lines was ten years old, on the shelf of the pantry was a bag of caramels “Plum”. That way a pound. To me they relied once a day, tea in the afternoon. And when you’re ten years old, three caramels for tea is too little!!!
In General, a bag of dried up in just a day. I got in trouble. Reminded me of all read children’s books, the bad guys which steal. Took me ten honest words that this will never happen again.
But honestly, this was repeated.
I was tempted by the chocolate chip cookie “Chestnut”, and grandma’s pancakes (they were just fantastic to eat under a blanket at night!), and fried the “adult” burgers (I had a separate “kids” — steam which I hated), and a lot more… I tried to be careful not to take a lot, just to put a cap or to tie a package… In 15 years I found the first part, and since am a law-abiding citizen.
Now I’m twenty-six. I never stopped loving chocolate. I can take my own money and buy yourself some toffees, chocolates, and eat a pound a day, not tormented by remorse.
If I limit myself, it is my personal decision, and not someone else’s third-party ban. If I really want vooon that dress in the window, “adult toy” — then I can decide if I can afford it, and what you will lose if you spend on a dress. If you really want, but no money for that, I find the options for how and where to earn more. I, like all of us, adults, there’s always a choice of what to have, what to buy, what and how much to eat, etc.
Put yourself in the place of the child. Yes, he has everything he needs and even beyond that. But how he is free in his choice?
Hiding from him the sweets so that he, God forbid, do not eat more than the allowed number of parents or at an odd hour? Who is his diet, who decides what toys he buy, and what not, when he can buy a Lollipop in the stall, and when not? Of course, adults!
Of course, if you want something, you can beg mom and dad – but where is the guarantee that they will give, buy, buying?..
And if begging is useless, because we know exactly what will be the answer: lots of sweet you can’t, from fried meatballs your stomach hurts, why do you want this kinder-surprise – you have the house of their hundred and Grand?..
But imagine what a stupid excuse for a child can look like the answer is “No money!”, if they are constantly “no” when we are talking about the kinder, Snickers or some penny stuff — but they do the tasteless porridge, uninteresting my mother’s magazines (and useless washing machine they do in wow how much is)!
Just imagine, you, a grown man, eating unwholesome or buying unnecessary, I think it’s just a little weakness. You these weaknesses allow yourself ten times a day!
And the child simply is not possible to do something like that – he is forced to ask permission!
Imagine if you had to ask someone if he’ll give you money for hot dog in the metro, on the extra cake in the evening, on a log with any cover, on any sudden vending peanuts at the supermarket?.. And then to beg permission here and now to eat this hot dog and peanuts and it was at night, eat cake, and read a magazine for food?..
But to say “Oh you nafig, go earn yourself all the shopping and authorize” no – you are 10 years old, and it is impossible in principle!
Well, dear adults, how long you would have lasted until the first stasinou cookies?..
How to wean a child to steal?
To answer the question “child is stealing what to do?” you need to understand – what exactly is stealing a child? If we are talking about money – he spends them?
I don’t think it’s something sverhsekretnoj – in 99% of cases, stolen a trifle children spend on sweets, small toys and stuff that her parents nonsense and perceived.
To start to solve the problem of “child stealing money” you need just like most problems in this world is with yourself!
Yes, of course, got on a hot little thief to shame and condemn, it must be the realization that stealing is bad. But it is important to think about, and what he wants to do? Is it possible without compromising on both sides to make the child received their small pleasures by legal means, asking for the desired parents, and knowing that he will not tell the next train a reasoned “no”?
The child should be taught that he has a choice. What to eat, what to buy… And also – what your choice should be responsible.
I think, in the absence of any severe diagnosis can allow the child to eat the coveted candy and feel yourself how unpleasant it is, it hurts really stomach? You can, for example, to keep the sweet tooth to the dentist for preventive examination – the procedure and talk with the doctor without my mom in the office can impress much more than the lock on the cupboard!
If you think that toys and other children’s things undermines the family budget – explain exactly what will have to give in return (meaningful to him).
For example, “I’ll buy you at least three kinder-surprise, but on Sunday we won’t go!”, “Now you eat these chips, but today’s dinner and tomorrow’s Breakfast you will not make it until tomorrow afternoon?”, etc.
And yet the freedom of decision-making.
The child (especially a teenager) should be able to buy something yourself, without asking anyone’s permission, under their own responsibility of their “own” money! To give the child pocket money, so he taught himself to use it – much better than thinking “why him money, we buy him everything if he asks”. So the child learns the value of certain goods, learning to control their costs, to compare alternatives of shopping…
And yet — sometimes children, like adults, also don’t want to go “hat in hand” to someone — even if there is a high probability that you won’t refuse. This is roughly the same, why do you safer to buy a shirt from my own stash, instead of asking her husband to allocate her money from the family budget (though he would not mind).
The child did not steal, he should know what real harm it causes themselves and others by their actions. The fear of punishment is not enough – rather, the little thief starts to think about subtle ways of stealing, not getting caught, and if they stop stealing – do not extract the life lesson.
And, of course, take care of yourself!
If you are in the eyes of a child calmly eating sweets in unlimited quantities – why should he believe you that it is harmful? If calmly buy yourself a journal/twentieth a tube of lipstick/Teens shoes – how would sound the speech about “now we have no money!”?
What to do if a child steals “serious”?
This applies more to teenagers.
Once it turns out that someone from home is gone a significant amount, and all evidence converge on the child. Or worse – robbed is a part of man, that is, the child steals outside the family…
Sometimes the theft parents guess, seeing that the teenager there are things that he obviously could not buy on pocket money…
And again, think about it – what he spends is stolen? Whether it is things or strictly forbidden? Why he didn’t want to ask money for these purchases from you?
In can you track where this money goes?
Unfortunately, it so happens that the teenager someone needs money for something, and he doesn’t want to share the situation with their parents. Maybe he spends it in the company, outside the house – again, what? For tickets to the match, rock concert, etc., all sorts of chips and drinks (and treats this buddies), or maybe courting a girl?
This, incidentally, is a normal teenage spending, and then it is time to think, and why the child steals the money for it, and does not receive the consent of parents?
Bad, of course, if a teenager steals to alcohol or cigarettes – but it will have to struggle with Smoking or drinking, and robbery as aggravating circumstances. Bad, if the child steals the money spent on “show-off” — treats the whole company, gives expensive gifts to friends or yourself buys some soup, “because it’s cool.”
Again – fight the root cause, explain to the child what’s wrong with such cheap popularity “purchased” authority in the company, how to become a really good friend and soul of the company without any extra costs.
Of course, we must condemn the fact that the child is stealing! He must know the extent of your sadness and upset, and all in the society are thieves!
Even if you think that he “lost all shame” — it is not, believe me. Even the “hardened recidivist” will be very uncomfortable if you say came to visit him buddies: “Guys, you just keep an eye on their wallets and phones, and nick, we are dishonest!”! This, of course, an extreme measure – to shame in front of their peers, but good in that if all talks and lectures to no avail.
But! The less the child will worry that he will be denied and scolded into the bargain, if he asked – the more it will appeal to you, and not to steal. Child and adolescent theft begins where there is no trust of children to parents and parents to children (and material status of the family has nothing to do with it!).
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
What to do if a child steals?