“The Question To Igor. So it was that during an argument her husband struck me. How would you advise me to act? Go? To forgive? Deliver an ultimatum? We’ve been together for years. We have a child. And after he shot apologized. Suggest different friends, but mostly women. Thank You, Katya”.
And we want to say: hit You – go, that’s inexcusable. But! Even the murderers at first listen, give them a lawyer. So, Kate, let’s something understand, and so the final decision is yours.
What is your relationship with your husband?
Let us first, no matter how it was hard, omit the quarrel, during which he hit You. Just remove that moment from my memory, at least try.
Now answer myself. Were you happy with Your relationship? You have with him, despite the years of living together, have feelings? He takes care of You? And sex? Everything still good or are there serious problems?
All this I ask to ensure that You have understood: his shot is unexpected, illogical or failure was to be expected, if you truly look at Your relationship with him?
And one more thing. You do not provoke words, the pressure during a quarrel? Unfortunately, sometimes verbal can be so hurt, that physical response may seem a trifle. Although I do not argue – even in this case beat wife not!
As he responded to your breakdown?
A very important point. If, as You say, apologized profusely, maybe he really had a complete breakdownthat, hopefully, in the future will not happen again.
But You believe that his repentance was sincere? If he had though a hint of fear when he realized what he had done?
If he apologized stiffly, as appropriate, with a certain amount of disappointment in himself that he was in an uncomfortable situation, not because You are seriously offended, then it’s a very bad sign.
Hit husband. To forgive or not?
I believe that there are two main points that You need to pay attention to.
If he do something out of the ordinary, and he sincerely apologized. And if You have had a good relationship, which You will later feel sorry.
Then I’m sorry. Child, the years of living together. Or the satisfied pride? Maybe I’m oversimplifying and don’t understand what it was like for You, but my decision in favor of maintaining the relationship.
Just be sure to agree with him: strikes again – leave. It is not in the form of an ultimatum, it should be for you two for the future the General rule, which even You would not dare to violate.
Once might be a Fluke, twice is a pattern. After the second time there will be a third. But once is enough if he does not consider himself guilty. In this case, leave and don’t be sorry!
So Kate, I hope You will weigh all the pros and cons, and Your decision is correct and reasonable. And it was so, from me to You talisman:
When I possess You, Hell does not exist!
The author – Igor Kolosov, the site www.sympaty.net – ToKnow365.top
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What to do if hit husband