If the girl gets embarrassed in front of men, it may look nice and touching and show such wonderful feminine qualities like modesty and mystery… But the constant tightness in my society males may well ruin lives and personal and public…
The website “ToKnow365.top” I will try to help those girls whose problem – “I am ashamed of men.”
What are the “generic scenarios” generate strong woman shyness in front of men?
The first “teachers” of art to communicate and build relationships with the opposite sex for each girl are her parents.
The father is the “prototype” future husband, anyway – in the face of the father of the little girl sees the collective image of all men who will meet in her life (Boyfriends, friends, bosses, colleagues, etc.). The mother is “adult prototype” of the girl.
All of us in childhood, Willy-nilly try on my mom’s way and mother’s life, and up to a certain age it is difficult for us to imagine that you can become some other grown woman, not a “duplicate” of the mother.
But by that time, as a teenage girl begins to objectively evaluate your parents and the relationship between them (and this estimate is not necessarily positive), it is already becoming a carrier of certain psychological attitudes, which are very difficult to break.
So there are “generic scenarios” — they most often transmitted through the female line and daughters repeat the errors of the mothers.
The Patriarchal script: “the Man of the home, women must obey men.”
As you know, this scenario is passed down from generation to generation in the so-called “traditional” families.
The husband is the head of the family, king and God. Neither the wife nor the daughter should not to contradict him, and even to himself can not think that he can be wrong. Such a scenario was considered the only correct long centuries, if not millennia: the woman was a powerless creature, their role was housework and abundant procreation.
Of course, educated in a family, girl shy men because they absolutely can’t put yourself on the same level with them and avoid the idea that men can communicate on an equal footing, or, horror of horrors, sometimes even to dominate them!
The problem with such “obedient daughter and a good wife” that she knows absolutely nothing about the opposite sex – shy men to tremble at the knees, she can’t see objectively any of them.
Her “great and terrible”, and she is ready to obey the first, which she will say: “Wish you were mine!”.
“Victim of Patriarchy” may be happy in their subordinate role, if it will get in the wife’s adequate, but it was torture. To realization outside the family, “in the big world,” such women do not seek – they are all more comfortable feel subordinate and not the chiefs.
If a woman offer to start your own business or to lead some team, her biggest dread is: “How will I be able to lead the men, because I am a weak woman, and I am very shy men!”.
Ultrafeminine scenario: “All men are scoundrels, you can live without them!”
The opposite of a Patriarchal family developed over the last century in the former Soviet Union “dynasty women with forty cats.” That is, incomplete families where a single mom raising a daughter, then the daughter grows up and also can not create a strong couple…
The problem is that in this family the mother (“adult alter ego” girls, as you remember) lives with the installation, that men cannot be trusted that a regular man next door is a constant risk of being deceived and abandoned…
The only form of interaction with the opposite sex that a woman believes it is permissible and justified is the use. For sex, for money, for the sake of conceiving a child…
And even options for long-term use men seem to be undesirable: for example, the birth and not to divorce with the father of the child to the relative maturity total Chad. No, she gives birth and leaves from the “breeder” sometimes even before birth (not forgetting, however, subsequently claim maintenance and lament “all men are bastards!”)!
Of course, this raised in a single-parent family girl shy men.
- On the one hand, she was told that she should despise and hate.
- On the other hand, her own instincts tell her that men are still needed: it is not necessary to ridicule for the sake of self-affirmation must be some other way to be happy with a man.
My mother’s voice in her head whispering that everything men – bastards and freaks, but the eyes see something quite different: there are a lot of pretty interesting guys! How they properly interact, a young girl does not know – example of a harmonious relationship of the father and mother she had not seen, and she has to act the extent of his erudition – as written in the novels, women’s magazines etc.
Books and journals-foreign tips to implement is very difficult, if not near permanent household example: how mom and dad watching the telly and then fried together (and not “Julia fell into the arms of Juan and promised to be with him forever…”).
So the girl just shy of men that she likes. There may be several options for further biography:
- A young woman clumsily comes into any relationship, they aggressively trying to dominate, a couple of times very “fired”. For example, the mother begins (actually, continues) to hate the entire male gender and decides to be strong and independent. Forty cats.
- Daughter creates for himself the ideal of the Prince is not such as described by the mother reptiles and goats, and not such as ordinary living men around. A couple of times she is very shy of men, starts a relationship, but goes away — because the man begins to think she has Gad, but not Prince. The years pass and the hooves of a white horse is not audible. Forty cats.
- The girl makes an attempt to break the “generic ultrafeminine” scenario, but falls into the opposite trap. She is shy of men but she likes those who are strong dominate. Mother said that all men are “rags”, so the daughter finds a “strong hand”. But in the end – in her life is a “Patriarchal” scenario, she finds herself in a subordinate and dependent role, and hardly happy. Maybe a woman will live all my life, but it is possible – to run away from “Patriarchy” and certainly will be preaching to their daughters absolute truth about what men are bastards… And over forty cats.
How to stop being shy men?
Of course, if you are in a “generic scenario”, will require a lot of willpower and reason to get out of it. Sometimes saving yourself relationship with a really good man who shows a woman around and not continuous tyrants or villains. With this man she “reveals” and ceases to be an aggressive badass, or Vice versa, “downtrodden” wallflower.
If such meeting has not happened yet, don’t wait for Batman, work on yourself by yourself! The realization that you’re trapped in someone else’s life scenario – is a very important step!
To stop being shy men, you need more to communicate with them in different situations, with different men! All sorts of “women’s clubs” and communication with “sworn friends” — this is not for you! Expand your social circle, try to ensure that women and men among your acquaintances with whom you maintain contacts, were about equally.
A good method of working on yourself – virtual communication with men. Sign up in the social network or Dating site, maybe even under an assumed name – and communicate with different guys! Not necessarily to find a partner and agree on a real meeting – but it’s a good “psychological training”!
Very effective, but quite radical way, which definitely helps not to be shy men to work in a male environment. When you feel that all around you, not aliens and not gods, and the same people who are late for work, muddy puddles the shoes, arguing with superiors, suffer from indigestion due to eaten at lunch canteen pies and do not know how to report – you will never say “I am ashamed of men!”
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
“Why am I ashamed of men?”