Grandparents love spending time with her grandchildren – most of us consider it a sort of axiom. And more surprising for us is the situation when the grandmother does not want to help with grandchildren, removed from them and from the related hassle.
What it can be connected and behave as a young mother?
Why your mom wants to be grandma?
It so happens that “don’t want to sit with your grandchildren!” said the woman who initially is not particularly eager to become a grandmother. Of course, hardly the mother’s willingness/unwillingness or stop you in making decisions about the birth of a child, but still need to understand the reasons for this reason.
At least in order to then her antipathy to grandson was not a problem for the baby, which is absolutely not my fault that he was an unwanted grandchild for grandma!
Sometimes I don’t want grandchildren (and discourage daughters from a baby) those women for whom their own motherhood for some reason it was painful, difficult, and perhaps – is also unwelcome. The kid is perceived as an obstacle to normal life, and they are trying to extend for an adult daughter happy childless youth.
How sincere such maternal advice? Yes, 100%! The mother really believes that it is necessary to protect his daughter from decisions, from mistakes in life, is to make young daughter was happier than her own youth (and happiness for a mother, the results of her personal experience = childlessness).
However there is a sincerity and a selfish motive in which your mother hardly confess even to herself. She is afraid that your motherhood will be happy.
What are you, her daughter will be able to find happiness in the child (which she herself had never been). And that’s when it will eat banal envy and the feeling of being a loser, which at the time are unable to become a happy mother!
And because of this, the mother could use a very unpleasant psychological techniques, if only to dissuade the daughter from birth grandson. For example, it can for years to tell her daughter that she is absolutely unfit to be a mother and be a bad mother – “you still do things baby, you’re irresponsible, you’re not going to pull a little”, etc. the Mother will find and indicate all of the real and imaginary reasons why daughter shouldn’t give birth – with her bad man (yeah, the behavior of the classic evil mother-in-law included), this man could not/cannot provide for the family, the daughter of a not so successful/responsible/smart as supposedly necessary, etc.
But the truth is one – this grandmother just afraid that there will be smoke be jealous of happy young mother with a toddler!
Why grandma doesn’t want to sit with her grandson?
And when daughter did give birth against the wishes of the mother, the newly minted grandmother may have recourse to the only available means to make the daughter feel all the hardships of motherhood. She says (or alludes to all of his behavior) that he doesn’t want to communicate with her grandson and does not want to participate in the farming heir.
Of course, this “punishment” in relation to an adult woman is meaningless – the child is already there, and if the young mother was pleased to motherhood, it is unlikely that such demonstrative behavior of the grandmother will make her reconsider their relationship to the child.
Yes, of course, grandmother’s help is a great help when baby is small and requires all kinds of trouble, but… the lack of help is forcing a mother to stop loving your baby!
Of course, very rarely, but still there are “grandmother-childfree” women, which really annoyed their own grandchildren (or all small children do). Why do so – the reasons can be a lot, and it does not matter. What is more important – and how to behave if grandma doesn’t want to see my grandson.
Grandma does not want to communicate with their grandchildren: what to do?
It is understood that the mother generally do not have neither you nor your child. You can argue long on the subject of “why did grandma not want to sit with their grandchildren, but… actually, no “grandma duties” no!
Grandchildren – though they are close to grandparents, but not their own children, and responsibility for children is only for those people who them brought to light – that is, the parents!
In General, the advice from the website sympaty.net – if your mom takes some kind of help for your child if she talks to him and spends time thanks to her. If she has no such desire – take it as a given and do not force her grandson: better this nobody will. Even if you really need help with a little, try not to ask for it to mother she will help, but then will long remind you of this in a particular context (“without me you can do nothing, what would you do without me do it,” etc.).
Try to observe how your mother refers to as her grandson and the baby itself feels. If her behavior is a marked coldness and aversion, which the child certainly feels better for the baby to reduce this communication to a minimum. In any case, do not configure the child against the grandmother, don’t say, “grandma doesn’t love you”, etc. – just try to rarely bring them together (especially tete-a-tete), that’s all.
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Why grandma doesn’t want to sit with her grandson?