You can often hear complaints from parents: “My very lazy – learning, interested in nothing…”, “This make me lazy to do something!”, “Always lazy, even the most simple makes something like…”.
So why is so prevalent the problem of child laziness? Lazy child: what to do – tell website sympaty.net!
Why the child is lazy: laziness as a protest
I do not condone lazy people (including children lazy). Constant laziness can create problems with the study, and in the future and does have a negative impact on the child’s personality development!
But before thinking how to wean the baby to be lazy, we need to understand why he is lazy in this particular case that gave rise to the emergence of laziness?
Better to fight the root causes than to force a child to do something “under duress”: the threat of punishment, lecturing, shouting, etc, to get in most cases – but the aim is the emergence of a real internal motivation of the child!
Before you decide what to do if a child is lazy, we need to understand one undeniable truth: laziness is a protective reaction of the psyche! And there is this defensive reaction when the child want more than what he is able, without prejudice to the mental and physical development, etc.
An incredibly common situation: mother brings to a child psychologist “pathologically lazy”, which is not interested in any one of the five circles where it leads, no school, no household chores — and occasionally drop-down free time tries just to laze around, relax in front of the TV or computer, etc. With the baby talk – and it turns out that he really does not want anything and dreaming only about the blissful idleness or games! Mother gasps and groans that he’s such a versatile ability, he’s so clever, so well started, and… where did this lazy child?! What to do?!
Psychologist offers to relieve the schedule of the baby because the younger he is, the more free, not regulated time, he should be!
Mom is horrified: what about the violin? the art room? karate?! Really lazy to fix it… allowing him to be lazy?!
Actually – that’s right! When an excessive load on the child’s psyche, fatigue, the child “breaks the fuse” — and the failure manifested in the form of total indifference to previously interested him in the classroom, in the form of laziness!
Laziness as a result of the evaluation of the perception of the older child
Give you one real conversation that I had with 8-year-old boy. I work with children. Having come to children’s collective, I invited all the children to draw, handed out paper and pencils, and the baby refused. Not forcing and not forcing, I asked him why he doesn’t want to draw?
— And for me this score will be?
— No, we’re not in school, I’m not put. And just to paint you’re not interested?
— No! I would have painted if for me is good…. Or money!
— ??? But without the ratings and money are you doing anything else?
— Mmm… Nope!
— But imagine that you don’t go to school at all – have you nobody puts, but do not give money – just mom and dad buy you what you need or want. What would you do?!
— And anything! Only eating and sleeping!!
It is clear that in the next 40 minutes, while other kids drew, the “Kommersant” managed to run round like 10 times the whole room to find the ball and knock it against the wall, to bring tears to the girl, taking away her pencils, and her noisy “idleness” get me the class teacher and classmates…
Of course, this child with all the sincerity of his answer is still “lying to myself” — children who are unable in reality they only sleep, eat and spit at the ceiling (how wonderful it is doing some adults!). Any child consistently produces some action. Another thing is that these actions can be clearly unproductive — not to match what you want to do at this point.
Parents can assume that the child is lazy, if he’s so “unproductive” way to spend their free time, refusing to help around the house, not interested in any extracurricular clubs, etc. and the whole reason for that… they taught him to expect grades for every action that little bit takes effort and is not fun!
And the child, accustomed to the scoring system, may not understand – why should we do something if it is for nothing?
To be lazy, the child is taught… parents!
Very often the child’s laziness takes the example of parents. Of course, if mom or dad all the time lying on the couch and is not an example of hard work, and the baby is unlikely to want something different.
But there are paradoxical at first glance, the cases, the parents themselves are constantly spinning “like a squirrel in a wheel,” never tire of repeating how important it is to work, why get rid of laziness, etc. — looks, listens, and is lazy!
Why? But because of very hard and uninteresting, but every day they are overcoming!
Say, “I hate my job, I also did not want to go there and Wake up at seven in the morning, but I heroically carry this burden – so that you come out there and do your duty!”. Same thing about household Affairs: “Yes, washing dishes is boring and disgusting, but I do it for you!”, “I’m even on the weekends backs do not bend – all for purity and beauty in the house are doing, and what are you doing?!”, etc.
Accordingly, the child concludes: “Work and study hard and nasty, so why should I myself have to shovel such unpleasant things to suffer with this all the same as mom?! I’d rather be entertained and to escape life’s hardships at all!”.
What to do if a child is lazy?
Lazy child: what to do? Of course, each situation will be different effective action – parents should understand what is happening with their child! The website sympaty.net tell only something you should consider:
- Work schedule of a child – leave him enough free time, don’t try to paint and to do something useful every minute! The younger children are, the more time for games and entertainment should be! Try yourself to feel the point at which the child begins to get tired and lose interest in the lessons!
- Think about motivation to useful things: it needs to be, ideally, not a “carrot and stick” and interest! Possible tell your child how fun it is to do so-and-so as a fun, exciting and easy to do something, etc.
- Weaning of the child to be lazy, try to do more positive and easier to relate to their needs and responsibilities! The child sees and draws conclusions!
I hope, therefore, the problem of child laziness in your family will be solved!
Author – Dasha Blinova, site ToKnow365.top
Why the child is lazy and what to do about it?